Fish Love?

The last couple of days, I’ve been trying to express a thing that is hard for me to explain. A thing happened with the Boy that was a big deal to me for reasons that I didn’t want to completely go into because it would make me cry. And cry over a person I’ve not loved for a long time.

Or rather a person that I have not been in love with for a long time. I have loved him as a friend and held onto that feeling for longer than was healthy because I wasn’t ready to give up on the time and energy I had invested in him.

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Weekend Coffee Share: New Projects

While we get settled, just be aware, I’m not getting out of my jammies today for anyone! While we sip our highly caffeinated beverages (I’m having a soda today; I wanted the bubbles), I’d tell you about how busy, busy, busy this week has been.

It began with STAAR testing… well, it began with the darkening loom of the STAAR testing… and it ended with my latest Camp NaNoWriMo project: Scrambled Eggs and Broken Hearts.

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Weekend Coffee Share: Be in the Moment

With only a few hours left of my Spring Break, this weekend we’d be drinking our coffee (or tea) while curled up in bed with relaxing music playing from my cellphone on one side and a stack of papers and notes on the other.

It’s a bit of a mixed signal, I suppose: relaxation on one side and stress from work on the other, but I feel sometimes that I’m very full of contradictions.

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What now?

When last I wrote on here, my brain didn’t feel quite normal. It’s still not quite there, but there is some progress.

I was concerned about things with the Boy. We’re going to drop the New and Old distinctions as I have almost no interaction with the Old Boy anymore, though he and I were supposed to have dinner last week, and, as is his trend, he canceled promising to reschedule. He hasn’t yet… which is one of a gazillion reasons why we didn’t last.

So, if I am talking about the Old Boy, I’ll make the distinction, but for the moment the New Boy is the Boy.

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Weekend Coffee Share: Meltdown

This weekend, if we were discussing life over coffee, we might very well be doing so at the New Boy’s place. It’s just about time I either decide to introduce him to my social circle, or decide if I might need to cut him loose.

I know that doesn’t make any sense, because we are pretty comfortable and close to perfect together, but his situation doesn’t look to be uncomplicating any time soon. If anything, it’s looking more and more like it won’t be doable. Oddly enough, when I asked him if the complications weren’t there if we would already be a thing, he seemed to not have thought about it. Like we’re just so comfortable together there wasn’t really a thought as to what might or might not be the reality under different circumstances.

Not sure if that gives me hope or crushes it…

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Warning Signs Unnoticed

I was sharing some of my childhood memories with the New Boy on Tuesday… after a day of dealing with stressful things, including my post about whether or not I thought he was interested in me as a person or not…

We’d been talking about movies and things, and I told him that Dumbo had been my favorite movie growing up. Told him about the blog post I’d written about it and the Jungle Book some longish time ago, too.  One of the things that stuck out to me was that I remembered my mother telling me how fixated I was with the story of Dumbo. I suppose it wouldn’t have been that weird, but the memory struck me as odd given that there are some pretty terrifying scenes in that movie.

Pink Elephants on Parade immediately comes to mind… Continue reading

Weekend Coffee Share: Boys vs. Men

This weekend, if we were comparing life notes over coffee, first of all, I’d tell you that the link up as moved. Instead of linking to Parttimemonsterblog.com it now links to Nerd in the Brain.

And then I’d invite you to curl up on the couch with me while we have some soothing music in the background to help reduce my current sense of ire.  Continue reading