Back on Track (again… maybe)

I managed to miss the weekend coffee share. I feel a little bad about that, but I posted on the Friday before, and now it’s the Monday after and I’m posting again, so you get more, even though I forgot…

With only 2 weeks and some change until teachers have to go back, I’m trying to get back into some sort of routine. Thus far, this summer was well routined during summer school, but then I took about a week to recuperate, which was destroyed with all the guy drama, and then over a week visiting family and friends in my hometown, and I just finished a week or so of binge watching shows and eating horrible food.

And nowhere in there did I write…

So, now we’re going to try really hard to get back on track.

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Healing Takes Time

I’ve bounced back and forth on this issue a bit. When things fell apart with the last guy, I felt like I had to hurry up and get over it because he had warned that it was most likely going to be temporary, but I had hoped that he could be swayed because of how he seemed to feel about me.

I had promised him that it wouldn’t bother me if it was temporary, and on some level it didn’t. It was the end of an experience, and thus end of story.

On the other hand, he didn’t respect or understand or even care about how I felt about the situation. He couldn’t see it from my point of view and let me know rather quickly that my point of view was completely irrelevant to his life, or at the least to his decision making process. Because that has been a regular theme in my relationships with men, it became something I fixated on, and thus what could have been a relatively quick ending was dragged out for me emotionally.

We won’t even get into the physical loss that was attached to the whole mess…

When a friend of mine posted something on Facebook that felt a little too close to home, it made me realize a few things:

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The Search Continues…

Or maybe it begins again…

While I have been on Tinder for a while, or, more accurately, back on Tinder, I’ve given up on it and gone completely over to Bumble. The conversations are better, the men are more respectful (and more attractive), and because I have to make the first move, I get to set the pace and topic of the conversation. That’s been nice.

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Weekend Coffee Share: Bumble is Better

This weekend, if we were  chit chatting over coffee, Mine would be in the form of an iced beverage. I’m thinking about heading to Starbucks to get my favorite Chai frappuccino (made with soy milk, add vanilla bean, and yes to the whip cream). I was pretty good this week, and I feel like I deserve a little treat.

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I can finally tell you!

Some while ago, I wrote a poem and on a whim submitted it to a contest. I think I may have spoken about it on here, and I know I’ve talked about it on Twitter, during various chat events. Either way, the time has come that they’ve posted it on their website, and thus I can share it with you all!

The contest was about social issues, and I chose to write about the mandatory testing and how it’s more harmful than good. There are a few people that I have shared it with. The last guy was one of them, and he laughingly said that it might be something we talk about 20 years from now…

At least he believed I had a bit of talent.

Or he could at least joke about such a thing.

I don’t really believe he had any positive feelings or thoughts about me at all. I really wanted him to tell me otherwise, with his own words, without me having to ask for some sort of validation, but he never could. Whether that is me not able to see it in the way he was showing it, or just proof that it never existed, I couldn’t tell you for certain, but this poem at least was good enough to win third place in a contest that is outside of my home country.

That is something worth celebrating and sharing!

You can find it on the site of the magazine which is publishing it here: Wax Poetry and Art. In theory, they will have someone read it and post that on Youtube. If it comes to be, you know I’ll post it here!

Thanks for following along and being supportive of all my trials and tribulations, be they romantic or creative!!

 

Time to Refocus

Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to realize that your world has become out of focus. Spending the last few days at home has helped me to realize that I haven’t had my priorities 100% in the right place. I’ve been spending too much time trying to figure out what was going on with a man who didn’t even see me as a person, so I’ve let important things, like my writing, sit on the back burner.

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Weekend Coffee Share: Out of town.

If we were talking over caffeinated beverages, mine would probably be a Pepsi today. I’m home visiting my mother, who recently had surgery (and also just had her birthday on the 4th), and she’s not a coffee or a tea drinker. But, because my grandmother buys everything in bulk, the house is well stocked in Pepsi… which, if I’m honest, I have always preferred to Coke.

Shhh! Don’t tell anyone! I’m from Texas, where we don’t call it “soda” or “pop;” in Texas, you ask someone what kind of “Coke” do they want. Coke and Dr. Pepper are like the state beverages.

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