Posted in Creative Endeavors

The Unquiet One

“I used to be like you,” she said, sipping her tea, with one hand on each side of the mug. Her eyelashes fluttered to keep the steam out of her eyes, and she knew he was looking. She could feel his eyes staring at the delicate tips of her nails that touched right at the place where her mouth should be. She could sense him waiting for the cup to move so he could watch her lick her lip before she looked into his bright blue eyes and continued their discussion.

Even now she could smell the pheromones trickle off of him, even through the steam of the tea and after all the hurt she’d caused. She wondered if he could smell her as strongly. There was no doubt that he’d won, even if he didn’t know it yet. If only he’d take the chance.

When she looked up, the brief moment their eyes met, she saw the color flush to his cheeks as he looked away.

“How does one seduce a man so shy?” she thought. “How does she get him to seduce her?”

“I used to be like you,” she continued. “I used to watch and wait for the right moment to speak, but was sure it would never come.”

“I doubt that,” he said, the delicious deepness of his voice rumbled through the air. She could feel it like a kiss to her eardrums. If only he knew how much power there was in a voice like that. A voice like that could make women swoon from across a room. It had certainly worked its magic on her, which was not an easy feat.

“It’s true,” she said, shifting slightly in her seat. “In fact, in most situations, I’m still that quiet, but there’s something about you that makes me… unquiet.”

It was her turn to be uncomfortable, staring at her own hands, looking for the right words to explain what she meant without leaving herself so emotionally exposed. With her hands, she spun her teacup lightly around, staring blankly into the cup, while her mind raced through things to say: “You make me nervous,” or “do you realize how intimidatingly handsome you are?”

Neither would do, of course. She was trying to put him at ease, not make him feel bad. She’d done that enough already.

In the past week or so, she had, in no less than a dozen ways, told him, unintentionally of course, that he wasn’t a good person, that he wasn’t what she wanted. She had flubbed her way through an attempt at an apology, meaning to say that she was sorry for offending him, but instead telling him she was sorry they couldn’t even be friends…

Friends was the least of what she wanted from him.

Her brain ran through all the wrong things she’d said, all the ways she’d embarrassed herself in an attempt to be casual, nonchalant, unimposing, and now, removed from the events, she could see just how many ways she had managed to say the opposite of what she had wanted to say.

No wonder he wouldn’t look at her.

She sighed.

“What is it you want from me?” he asked. She could hear the hurt in his voice. Had she managed another mistake?

She wanted to say, “I want you to do things to make be unquiet in a dozen different ways, a dozen different positions, until neither of us can move. I want to feel those strong hands of yours running along my flesh and tangled in my hair. I want to hear you moan my name as we collapse into each other.”

What she managed to say was, “I don’t know.”

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Posted in Dating, Friendships, Just me, Teaching

#DSFWeeklyRewind: Can I get a Do-Over?

Good afternoon Rewinders! I seem to have a pattern of good weeks followed by bad weeks. If that’s really true, this coming week should be phenomenal!

The short version: I am so awkward that I managed to show my crazy (as one of my co-workers would say) to the gentleman that took me out last weekend, and now I’m being ghosted.

Or at least I’m 97% certain that’s what has happened. I’ve been kind of fixating on how to fix it, which of course always makes it worse, right?

Continue reading “#DSFWeeklyRewind: Can I get a Do-Over?”

Posted in Dating, Just me, Teaching

#DSFWeeklyRewind: Good Days

Good afternoon Rewinders! This week has been a slew of good days and a few new beginnings. I began reading a new book. I began overcoming my fear of failure in my writing. I even began a new piece as I’ve stalled on my other WIP’s.

And while normally I would feel a little bit frustrated that I hadn’t finished what I’m working on, I’m more thankful (even gratitudinous!) that I still have ideas flowing to make up the slack!

So, let the rewind commence!

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Posted in Dating, Friendships, Just me, Teaching

#DSFWeeklyRewind: Recognition, finally!

Good afternoon Rewinders! This week has been hectic but in a good way. I’m definitely thankful for my work friends and my kiddos this week. They have (even if they don’t realize it) given me ample validation that teaching is, in fact, my calling and that I am, in fact, relatively good at it.

If we work our way backwards, today (Sunday) has been all about the writing side of things. The Twitter Chat was about distractions, and thus it was also the theme for my weekly #ThinkBIGSundaywithMartha post.

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Posted in Just me, Teaching, World

I Light My Own Candle

The wheel has turned again, and we find ourselves at the next holy day of the old ways… well, a particular pantheon of old ways, anyway.

For those of you who have been around for a while, you already know I don’t fit in a particular religious group. There was a time when people would call me a dabbler, intending it as an insult, though I rarely took it as one. I am a bit of a dabbler. I am strong in my faith, and I accept that my faith doesn’t exactly fit well within the parameters of any other particular faith.

Though this day and age is particularly suited for exactly that sort of thing.

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Posted in Reviews

Lock In: It made me love reading again

For this Writer Wednesday, I want to show my love for a writer other than myself. If you read this week’s Weekly Rewind post, you’ll know that I’ve recently started doing the book club thing again, although this one is one that merges my love of books with my love of all things geeky.

My first book with this new club was an absolute joy! It’s been a long time since a book made me want to stay up into the wee hours and read instead of getting the sleep I need to be a functional human being, but this book had me looking like a zombie for part of last week because whenever I’d wake up in the middle of the night (a somewhat regular thing in my old age), I’d reach for this book.

What book is it? Lock In by John Scalzi.

And just FYI: there will be some spoilers ahead. Though I try not to include too many of them, there are a few things that I want to talk about that can’t be discussed without a spoiler or two coming out.

Consider yourself warned!

Continue reading “Lock In: It made me love reading again”

Posted in Friendships, Just me, Teaching

#DSFWeeklyRewind: Playing Catch Up

Good evening Rewinders! This week everything is a little wonky. Again, I didn’t get the #WriterWednesday post up on time… or at all! Again, the weekly rewind is a little late, though I promise to post before the weekend is technically over. But, hopefully, after today is done I’ll be back on track. It’s been a busy weekend!

For that matter, it’s been a relatively busy week!!

As such, the soundtrack for this week’s rewind is full of trance and dubstep.

Continue reading “#DSFWeeklyRewind: Playing Catch Up”