Merry Lughnasadh!

The wheel turns again and we’ve come to the first of the harvest festivals, for those of you of the witchy persuasion. It’s a holiday that I always enjoy. Mostly because I bake a blueberry pie in honor of Lugh the Long-Armed. Blueberries are in season, and I add lemon for the light of the sun, and poppyseeds, as poppies are used to decorate the wreaths in honor of John Barleycorn, who sacrifices himself so that the harvest can be made and the seeds can go back into the earth to be reborn again next year.

Actually, I always put poppyseeds in my pie, but only just learned that poppies go on the Barleycorn wreaths… Sometimes happy accidents happen.

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Time to Refocus

Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to realize that your world has become out of focus. Spending the last few days at home has helped me to realize that I haven’t had my priorities 100% in the right place. I’ve been spending too much time trying to figure out what was going on with a man who didn’t even see me as a person, so I’ve let important things, like my writing, sit on the back burner.

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Everyone has Value

Ever have one of those nights where waking up in the middle of the night solves a riddle for you? Tonight, I’m having one of those nights…

See, while I’m satisfied with the state of things, something about the whole thing has been rolling around in my brain making me less than calm, resulting in morning sickness level nausea and a weight-gaining level of cortisol flooding my blood stream… despite my prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that I have since doubled just to be able to sleep.

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The Angry Phase

A friend told me that I needed to prepare to go through my angry phase of this whole experience. I thought he was making it up, or that maybe he was just an angry person, but maybe I’ve been going through it and wasn’t entirely aware of it.

Looking back at what I wrote yesterday, I was more angry than sad, though I think there was definitely sadness in there as well.

Sometimes it’s really hard when you feel so strongly about everything that you don’t always understand which emotion you’re feeling, and to say such a thing makes you feel broken…

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Emotional Roller Coaster

It’s not even been 72 hours since I was made aware of my relationship blunder, and already my heart and head have run the gambit.

For those of you who know me, you know I’m a big believer in signs, and several things have popped up lately to make me think I should have seen this coming. But even as I start to dwell on that, I’ll spot something on Facebook or Instagram that makes me think that I’m stupid for believing such a thing. Meanwhile my friends are there telling me to relax because while it was a rather big blunder, it’s also very obvious (to them… I’m not so sure) that things will work out positively.

And all in the middle of it all, several of the guys from my past have shown up almost as if the universe is testing me.

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Weekend Coffee Share: An apology is due.

Well, I managed to do it: I screwed up and big time.

If we were sharing our lives over coffee this weekend, let’s make mine Irish.

Because I could use the drink.

I’m still in my jammies. Having done prom last night, and waking up to a not-so-pleasant discussion, I’ve decided today is a day when I’m not going to leave the house. I’ll get to all that in a bit, but first I need to address a few things first. They’re related, so I suppose that helps, but let’s start with the big one:

I owe the Boy an apology.

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