tryingtobeme

Trying to Just Be Me

Instead of writing my post about the movie Nerve, yesterday was spent going through my posts since 2016 started. I felt I needed to revisit a few things to see if I’ve actually made any progress, or if I was backsliding. Things with the Pirate were so reminiscent of the first full on break up with the Boy that I started thinking about all the similarities, and I saw some progresses that I’d made with the Pirate, or at least in how I dealt with the situation.

It put me in a nostalgic mood. Continue reading

underattack

Feeling Under Attack

I’ve been a little MIA recently. Sorry about that. I had to reset and really think about some things. That last comment from the Pirate’s Mouthpiece (whoever she is) really upset me, no doubt that was her reason for saying it. Some days I feel like a fraud in almost every aspect of my life, so, even though I’ve had more than one specialist confirm my Asperger’s diagnosis, I still had to sit back and hide from my life for a moment and think, am I a fraud there, too?  Continue reading

datenight
aspiemovie

How This Aspie Sees The World (and how it relates to my recent dating debacle)

I wish I could say this was some deep, philosophical rant about the recent events that have been all over the news and my Facebook feed, but it’s not. I’ll probably keep those for another day, but I may touch on them a little bit, because I do think I have an interesting point to make coming from an Aspie perspective, and, as I’m finding out the more I look into things, since my “thing” is literature and stories in general (like the format, and archetypes, not just ANY story…wait… oh, it’s complicated), I have a unique ability to express myself better than some other Aspies I’ve encountered or read about.

It seems that I have a unique ability to look at things from someone else’s point of view, which is inherently not-Aspie-like, but I can do it because basically everyone I meet is a character, and my literary analysis skills help me to identify motives and hard things like sub-text…or at least how it would work in the movies.

It’s how I interact with the world. Everything and everyone is a character or prop in a play or movie that I’m starring in.

Like in the Movie Hero

Continue reading

secondchances

Tonight on #JustAddTea: Second Chances.

I’ve been really dwelling on this whole idea of second chances. What type of person deserves a second chance? Or does everyone deserve an opportunity to prove themselves?

I usually take the second stance, but I’ve been really thinking about how things were with the Pirate, and I think that perhaps my curiosity and my loneliness got the better of me and thus I made him out to be better in my head than he was in reality. On the other hand, I do see how his current situation may be to blame for his crappy attitude, and I really hadn’t made up my mind whether or not he was more Jekyll or more Hyde.

Thus, tonight, I’m seeking advice in our Twitter chat. Tonight’s #JustAddTea party will be about Second Chances! Continue reading

secondchances

The End… Maybe?

I’m pretty sure this will be the last post where the Pirate is in the starring role. I’ve done a lot of soul searching and the similarities to the situation with the Boy make me so unbelievably nervous that I’m not sure there is anything that he can do to earn a second chance.

A part of me really wants him to figure something out that would earn him a second shot, though.

I try really hard to be objective when we reach this point. I’ve been thinking about the different stages of relationships, and love languages, and all the other things we’ve discussed on here in the past in the attempt to decide if I made the right decision, or if I was so wrapped up in the similarities with the Boy that I jumped to a negative too quickly.

Did I screw this up? Does the Pirate deserve a second chance? Or should I trust my initial reaction and just walk away and never look back? Continue reading

dogs

Why Dogs are Better than Men!

Happy Fourth of July!

Today is also my mother’s birthday, so today should be full of celebration!

I only wish I could be there with her to celebrate, but alas, maybe next year.

I do, however want to celebrate a night without a dog mess. I do believe the dog, whose name is actually Tiny Tim, is actually house broken finally. When I woke up this morning to take him out, he was awake, but hadn’t even peed in the bathroom where I’ve been letting him sleep. This is huge progress, seeing as yesterday he pooped in there enough for two dogs twice his size! Continue reading