I think I need these Things Sometimes A walk to soothe my nerves A hand to hold A hug from a stranger A nice warm bath… But they never measure up to My expectations Because what I seek Is not me.
Walking along a garden path One foot In front of The other Butterflies flitting Birds chirping A beautiful flower O’erhangning the path Aching to be smelled. Not a rose A snapdragon Perhaps Filled with monstrous teeth Gnashing to snap me up in their Trap And filled with The flaming breath Of False promises and Fear.
Little children skipping passed Noses down The glow of their iPhones Blinding them to the Danger And the Beauty That surrounds them. They do not see me Trapped Behind a Snapdragon Smile.
Surrounded by Multitudes Teachers and Counselors Engineers and Analysts, People designed to See and fix The errors and flaws And none of them see The problem Within me The angry teeth Encasing my Heart The false smile Plastered From ear to ear The outstretched Hands Aching to be Held.
Seeking hands large enough To scoop me up Out of my own Darkness A sense Of false security From an outside Force. One strong enough to Drag me further Down this Dingy Hallway Full of smelly teens And unused lockers.
Did I ever enjoy this? This flitting Butterfly Dance Avoiding the stares Of ignorant, Plugged in Monsters. Searching for like-minded Eyes. Eyes equally seeking Intelligent Intercourse Between consenting Adults.
Can I speak to you? And will you actually Hear Me? Will you know me when Our eyes meet Across the room? Will your Need Counteract the societal Norms That Say Strangers Must maintain A Safe Distance? Or will you pull me into You, Needing my touch As much as I need yours?
I can almost feel Your arms Around me, A warmth O’ertaking the coldness. I feel my smile Breaking through the Darkness, Only to open my eyes To the Truth: Tears in a cold bath Can be a source of Warmth
And False hope False security False smiles False promises.
But I think I need these things Sometimes. Because without them Who would I be?