I sometimes go to IHOP to write. This sounds counterproductive due to the noise level and being interrupted by waitstaff, but in reality, it’s very comfortable. When I was in college, IHOP became a place of comfort for me. There would be whole groups of us that would gather there late in the evenings (and often into the morning) playing the question game, actually interacting, and being 100% genuine. There wasn’t a lot of judgment at that IHOP. More likely, it was because the atmosphere of a college town where there are competing colleges with competing theological ideologies allowed for an ambiance of honest communication to truly develop.
It was a special time in my life and the only time (prior to knowing about my ASD) that I felt totally comfortable being myself.
Continue reading Girls: We’re different
The wheel turns again and we’ve come to the first of the harvest festivals, for those of you of the witchy persuasion. It’s a holiday that I always enjoy. Mostly because I bake a blueberry pie in honor of Lugh the Long-Armed. Blueberries are in season, and I add lemon for the light of the sun, and poppyseeds, as poppies are used to decorate the wreaths in honor of John Barleycorn, who sacrifices himself so that the harvest can be made and the seeds can go back into the earth to be reborn again next year.
Actually, I always put poppyseeds in my pie, but only just learned that poppies go on the Barleycorn wreaths… Sometimes happy accidents happen.
Continue reading Merry Lughnasadh!
Ever have one of those nights where waking up in the middle of the night solves a riddle for you? Tonight, I’m having one of those nights…
See, while I’m satisfied with the state of things, something about the whole thing has been rolling around in my brain making me less than calm, resulting in morning sickness level nausea and a weight-gaining level of cortisol flooding my blood stream… despite my prescription for an anti-anxiety medication that I have since doubled just to be able to sleep.
Continue reading Everyone has Value
My thoughts become wrapped up in the very idea of you,
hypnotized by the memory of being enveloped in your arms,
of being held tightly
while teased into a fervor of passion
with the gentlest of caresses along the tops of my breasts.
Your fingers pull and flick at my nipples,
as you simultaneously
pull a moan from my lips.
When you suck and nip at my ear,
the warmth of your breath drives me even further
into a frenzy
until I am at risk of losing myself completely
in your scent
as it surrounds and sticks to my naked flesh
pressed so closely to your own nude body.
hips moving of their own accord
to that most ancient of rhythms
known to all lovers who’ve given themselves
freely one to the other.
I keep thinking that things are going to get easier in my life, and then I’m always wrong.
At the moment, I’m still in a rental car, still staying with a friend, and there’s a problem with my phone…
And my finances aren’t exactly great. Instead of being able to save up to get either a new car or into a place of my own, all my money goes to that silly rental car.
Continue reading Difficult Times