Posted in Aspergers, Dating

Why I seem to suck at dating…

Today was one of those days where I began and ended the day dealing with my Asperger’s. I couldn’t sleep last night. The anxiety because I could see all the ways in which my day would end badly because I hadn’t made the copies I swore to myself I would make before I left school the day before kept going through my head until I’d managed to stay up until nearly 3:30 in the morning. Then when my alarm went off at 4:45, I really wanted to call in, but I can’t. I needed to be there.

Besides, when you’re a teacher, being tired really isn’t an acceptable excuse.  Continue reading “Why I seem to suck at dating…”

Posted in Dating

And there’s the disappointment…

So Mr. Nice Guy had to cancel our date for tomorrow night. It was just a friendly, casual movie, but I was hoping for a bit more. He had to move our second date by a whole week because he was sick last week, and now he’s canceling our third date for work.

Call me cynical, but I feel like I’ve been here before. Continue reading “And there’s the disappointment…”

Posted in Dating, Family stuff, Friendships, Just me, Reviews

October 2015 Recap

A lot has happened since my last recap, way back in the beginning of August! I’d hurt my ankle in the month of July, I was unsure of where I was going to live, I didn’t know where I stood with just about anything. Now, with the beginning of November (and NaNoWriMo), I feel much more stable in most aspects of my life.

There are exceptions of course.

As always, the Boy is one of them.  Continue reading “October 2015 Recap”

Posted in Aspergers, Just me, Releasing Steam

It’s okay to be broken.

Yesterday I hinted at the fact that I’m learning a lot about myself and about how I think. And even as I write this all down I’m still arguing with myself about whether or not I’m right or if I’m just trying to force myself into a box, a label, a way to understand the things that I struggle with. But I do feel broken, and I think I’ve figured out what’s wrong. Continue reading “It’s okay to be broken.”

Posted in Just me, Reviews

Day 27: The Last Time I Cried

There’s a reason why I avoid romance movies and novels. Actually, there’s probably more than one reason why I avoid them, but mostly I avoid them because they either make me feel like I’m going to be alone forever because I cannot find a love like that, or they have their own tragic sad ending, reinforcing that even when a person finds love the universe is too heartless to let that beauty and love exist. Then I get filled with a sense of sadness, and, if left unchecked, I can start crying at the drop of a hat for a few days afterward.

For example, it was a romance movie that caused me to cry last. I watched The Best of Me last night with my roommate and by the end of the movie we were both blubbering.  (There will be spoilers, so you may want to skip this post if that’s an issue for you.) Continue reading “Day 27: The Last Time I Cried”

Posted in Dating

Bitch Triggers

Every girl has them. Those tiny things that make you just snap, turning a usually calm person into a raging bitch-monster who is out for blood. They turn into that terrifyingly crazy chick that you see on movies: the girlfriend who rips up his favorite ___(fill in the blank)_____, or the wife who sets all his stuff on fire in the front yard. You know, the crazy girl that men warn each other about. Some girls are good at being able to recognize their triggers and can settle themselves down before the monster emerges.

I am not one of those girls.

BURGOS___SHE_HULK_rage_by_DeadDog2007I’m the girl who, once my bitch trigger is pulled, I either have to immediately have a conversation to discuss whether or not I’m irrationally angry, or my rage grows exponentially until I absolutely explode! Name calling, and low blows abound. I’ve never been violent, but my emotional punches tend to be unnecessarily cruel. There isn’t even that much yelling. But the more hurt I become by being ignored, the more cruel my words become. Continue reading “Bitch Triggers”