I sometimes go to IHOP to write. This sounds counterproductive due to the noise level and being interrupted by waitstaff, but in reality, it’s very comfortable. When I was in college, IHOP became a place of comfort for me. There would be whole groups of us that would gather there late in the evenings (and often into the morning) playing the question game, actually interacting, and being 100% genuine. There wasn’t a lot of judgment at that IHOP. More likely, it was because the atmosphere of a college town where there are competing colleges with competing theological ideologies allowed for an ambiance of honest communication to truly develop.
It was a special time in my life and the only time (prior to knowing about my ASD) that I felt totally comfortable being myself.
Continue reading Girls: We’re different
So a short while ago I started talking about how we separate (or divide, to stick to the title) ourselves into categories and judge each other based on those categories. I had wanted to talk about more serious stuff, but ended up using the whole post to rehash how some of the most recent men in my dating life have stopped seeing me as human, and how it was due to their racial make-up.
No, the irony of me talking about how we shouldn’t categorize people and then me doing that exact thing is not lost on me.
Continue reading Why do we divide ourselves? (part 2)
I’ve bounced back and forth on this issue a bit. When things fell apart with the last guy, I felt like I had to hurry up and get over it because he had warned that it was most likely going to be temporary, but I had hoped that he could be swayed because of how he seemed to feel about me.
I had promised him that it wouldn’t bother me if it was temporary, and on some level it didn’t. It was the end of an experience, and thus end of story.
On the other hand, he didn’t respect or understand or even care about how I felt about the situation. He couldn’t see it from my point of view and let me know rather quickly that my point of view was completely irrelevant to his life, or at the least to his decision making process. Because that has been a regular theme in my relationships with men, it became something I fixated on, and thus what could have been a relatively quick ending was dragged out for me emotionally.
We won’t even get into the physical loss that was attached to the whole mess…
When a friend of mine posted something on Facebook that felt a little too close to home, it made me realize a few things:
Continue reading Healing Takes Time
That would be an understatement.
Two mornings in a row, I got up with big plans for the day, only to be thwarted by my body, and then today I was busier than a one-armed paper-hanger!
Monday, I had a heck of a migraine, and while I tried to muscle through, it won for the first half of the day. The second half of the day, I tried to fix my car situation. This put me on the phone for a couple hours dealing with people… not fun when my brain was still aching in spots. But I thought I’d gotten it worked out, so I hopped into the rental (that’s costing me, oh, about $200 a week) and headed in the direction of where the new car should be.
Continue reading Just surviving this week…
I keep thinking that things are going to get easier in my life, and then I’m always wrong.
At the moment, I’m still in a rental car, still staying with a friend, and there’s a problem with my phone…
And my finances aren’t exactly great. Instead of being able to save up to get either a new car or into a place of my own, all my money goes to that silly rental car.
Continue reading Difficult Times