Late last night I posted about my epiphany and how I think I’d lost some friends because of that Last Guy… Today, I need to write a very short (for me) follow up about it, because it hurts. Because I’m frustrated, and since there are several people who aren’t speaking to me, I have nowhere else to vent it but on here.
I’ve bounced back and forth on this issue a bit. When things fell apart with the last guy, I felt like I had to hurry up and get over it because he had warned that it was most likely going to be temporary, but I had hoped that he could be swayed because of how he seemed to feel about me.
I had promised him that it wouldn’t bother me if it was temporary, and on some level it didn’t. It was the end of an experience, and thus end of story.
On the other hand, he didn’t respect or understand or even care about how I felt about the situation. He couldn’t see it from my point of view and let me know rather quickly that my point of view was completely irrelevant to his life, or at the least to his decision making process. Because that has been a regular theme in my relationships with men, it became something I fixated on, and thus what could have been a relatively quick ending was dragged out for me emotionally.
We won’t even get into the physical loss that was attached to the whole mess…
When a friend of mine posted something on Facebook that felt a little too close to home, it made me realize a few things:
Sometimes it takes a change of scenery to realize that your world has become out of focus. Spending the last few days at home has helped me to realize that I haven’t had my priorities 100% in the right place. I’ve been spending too much time trying to figure out what was going on with a man who didn’t even see me as a person, so I’ve let important things, like my writing, sit on the back burner.
And then I’d invite you to curl up on the couch with me while we have some soothing music in the background to help reduce my current sense of ire. Continue reading
I don’t feel particularly wise this Wednesday. I’m feeling my stress particularly hard today. I shouldn’t be, but I am. It’s definitely a day for tea, so as soon as I can, I’m going to brew me a nice cuppa.
In a lot of ways, that’s what this blog was originally for: releasing my stress, metaphorically (and often literally) over a cup of tea. I wanted to discuss the situations where tea was a boon to my day, saving me from my own stress and worry.
This week, if we were gossiping over coffee, we’d probably have done it while getting our nails done. That took close to forever earlier today! I wasn’t going to get them done, but I’d peeled the shellac off from when I’d done them before, right before New Year’s, and it tore my nails up underneath. I was afraid that with them being so vulnerable, they’d break, and I had already cut them shorter than I like… actually I bit them. I don’t do it often, but when one of them breaks, I get some strange satisfaction out of biting the rest to the same length as the broken one.
Anyway, I went to get my nails done even though I can’t really afford to do that at the moment, and ran into my roommate.
Who had already been there for over an hour…
And we were there for close to 2 hours before both of our nails were finally complete…
But the final result looks pretty good, if I do say so myself!
There is just something about New Year’s that gets the blood pumping and the brain working overtime on new ideas. We make these resolutions (that we rarely keep, but that doesn’t stop us, does it?), and we determine to do something new, or to restart something not so new, and all because the days on a calendar suddenly change.
It’s strange if you really think about it. Time doesn’t exactly exist. I mean, most animals don’t recognize a watch or clock, and definitely not a calendar, but anyone who has pets knows that they can become very aware of the time if you feed them at exactly the same time every day. Even though they can’t read a clock, they can sense that it’s dinner time, and they’ll let you know about it if you “forget!” Continue reading