Well hello! I’ve missed this the last week or so. There was a hurricane, and I wasn’t at home, and my entire routine has been a mess these last couple of weeks! But I’m back at home, and while I need to buy groceries so I’m not just eating out every day, I am otherwise back to normal… I think.
So, if we were having coffee today, mine would be just plain water, actually. While at my mother’s place, I had more caffeine than I’ve had in months! Even tea tastes bad to me at the moment. I want water and veggies and fruits. All natural stuff.
I’ve managed to have a salad every day since I’ve been back, even if it was just a side salad. I feel like I’m on almost a cleanse of sorts because I just need to not have anything processed for a little while. Or at least not heavily processed.
I love my family, but they are definitely meat and potatoes people (my mother’s description), and because I’m adopted and don’t share their DNA, I think that means that my body just can’t process it the same way they can.
Everything was tasty! Don’t get me wrong… It just was all meat and starch and cheese for the most part.
So now I’m trying to get my greens in with salads and fruits and veggies.
In other news, we start back to school on Monday, so the last couple of days have been all classroom prep. We’ve been told to go back to day 1, as if the semester hadn’t begun. So, everything we’ve done, it’s like it didn’t happen, and yet, it’s not like we’ll have ALL new students, so we can’t just do exactly the same thing as before.
We are expecting to get quite a few students who have been displaced because of the hurricane. The last I’d heard, Houston ISD (I’m actually in the suburbs) had 12,000 students who were going to have to be bussed to other schools because theirs were underwater. One of the neighboring high schools has something like 500 new students because of the hurricane.
So things will be different, and that makes me a little anxious. I’ll be fine, but I don’t know what to expect, and that always makes me nervous.
Also, a new guy has shown up. He and I have a mutual friend on Facebook, so he sent me a friend request. I usually don’t add people I don’t know, but he is attractive, and, because of the mutual friend, I thought perhaps he was someone I had met and just didn’t remember. I’m learning that isn’t the case, but I haven’t decided if it was a mistake to add him.
Thus far, he’s done what most of the men I’ve met or matched with recently have done: taken the conversation straight to a naughty place. Then when I call him out on his behavior, he says he’s joking.
I kind of hate that. I mean, if you’re going to be naughty, own it. Don’t pretend that you’re just being casual and the other person is in the gutter for taking your risque comments out of context. It has to be a form of gaslighting, I would think, but it also shows weakness. You’re too afraid of offending someone, so you give conflicting signals, and the other person doesn’t know what you want out of the situation.
To combat it, I sent him a message telling him that he needed to decide if he liked me as a person, so he needed to look at my Facebook page and see what he thought. I told him I wasn’t a sexual object, and that I was tired of people assuming that, because I am a sexual person, it meant that I was easy and that sex was all I was good for.
I apologized for possibly offending him, but that I wanted to make sure we were both on the same page, and he needed to understand that, since he hasn’t been clear with his intentions, I had to judge him on my past experiences and they were telling me he was just a Fuckboy… though I didn’t use that term.
My friend, the one I miss now that he chose my ex over me, told me I needed to stop allowing men to treat me like I was an option. I needed to act like I was the only one. His timing with it was crappy, but I guess he’s not wrong. Even though the last few guys have given me the impression that I was special, and so on my end, I felt like I was the only one, in reality, they’ve never seen me as important so I wasn’t the only one. And it’s probably been that way for the past 15 years.
With almost every guy I think/act like I’m the only one, and as soon as they begin to see that’s how I feel, they change the way they interact with me and tell me that I’m somehow at fault for this change. They are incapable of monogamy and somehow that makes me at fault.
Or that’s what I heard in the way my friend tried to say it, given the circumstances and the timing of when he said it.
But with this guy, I’m aware that I deserve better, and I won’t be hurt like that again. I’m tired of men thinking I’m too dumb to see through their obviously transparent attempts to get sex, and then telling me there’s something wrong with me no matter if they get what they want or not.
His response suggests he might actually be different, so we’ll see.
And now I’ve got to get back to my prep work for the week. I hope things are looking up in your world, and look forward to hearing how things have been going with you. Also, if you’re interested, we’ll be talking about creating more diverse characters in tomorrow’s #JustAddTea Twitter chat. Maybe I’ll see you there, too.
Thanks for coming! See you around the Coffee Share!