Posted in Dating

Weekend Coffee Share: Nice Boys.

This weekend, if we were sharing our lives over caffeinated beverages, we’d be at Panera Bread. Recently my roommate brought me here for the first time, earlier this week as a matter of fact, and I really enjoyed it. I didn’t order wisely (I’ll explain in a bit), but what I’d ordered was tasty. I came back to try to order something that was within my points allowance…

For those of you not in the know, “points allowance” is a Weight Watchers term.


Yes, I went back to Weight Watchers. I’ve been successful with it in the past, and then I always decide, I can do it all on my own, without the meetings and without the little tracker, and then within a few weeks or a few months I’ve gone totally off program and am gaining all my weight back.

And sometimes I gain more back than I started with!!

Last week I talked about getting back on track, and one of the first things I mentioned was getting back on Weight Watchers. Even though I haven’t been following it very closely, I am happy to say that I did lose 4.5 pounds last week. This week I also found a meeting that I like.

That’s the other reason we’re meeting at Panera Bread: I overslept and didn’t have time to eat breakfast before the meeting, so now I’m STARVING, but I wanted to make smart choices. After my roommate and I came here earlier this week, I found which things I liked that were not going to kill my diet, so I knew exactly what I wanted to order before I even made it in the door. I’m starving, but I was able to choose wisely. I did the Pick 2 option and got the Black Bean soup (2 points) and the basic Turkey sandwich, without mayo (5 points). I don’t like mayo anyway, and WW gives me a reason for when people look at me like I’m nuts.


It was pretty good! I liked the soup a whole lot more than I expected (didn’t even think to get a picture of it…) and my roommate tells me that the reason why it is so pricey is because they use as little processed foods as possible, which makes it healthier and less points in general.

So, at least the weight loss journey is back on track.

I still didn’t get any writing done, unless you count the two posts yesterday, but I have been pretty busy. On Tuesday, I volunteered to help sort ESL paperwork at my school, and afterwards, some of us ladies of the ESL department went out for pupusas at a local pupuseria.


Pupusas are Salvadorean food, and they’re delicious! They’re like a stuffed tortilla, filled with cheese and other stuff. I had one with squash and then took the one with pork home with me, plus I order the Especial B which comes with cooked sweet plantain. It gives me that dessert feeling that tells my brain that I’m done eating.

Not exactly good for my weightloss plan, but, that’s why there are extra points allowed into the program. Speaking of, I know I went way over on those because I’ve gone out quite a bit lately. The new guy and I have gone on three dates in the past week!

Last Saturday, he took me to one of his favorite pubs, and we stayed there for 5 hours! We only split an appetizer, though, so I was on the verge of starving by the time 5 hours was up. He, meanwhile, was on a bit of a liquid diet it seemed. I wasn’t counting, and I kind of wish I had been because after our next date, I am a bit concerned about his alcohol intake.

But let me not get a head of myself.

We talked about all sorts of nerdy things! Especially Star Trek and Firefly, both of which are important to him. He sees himself as similar to Malcolm Reynolds, the captain of the Serenity from Firefly. He started his own business some years ago, and it keeps him hopping, like the Serenity does with all it’s problems and not so mild crises that it encounters:


He has that level of passion about what he does that I like and have been looking for for quite a while.

Plus, he’s a gentleman.

That first night, while we were talking about all my favorite nerdy things, he never once looked at my chest.

Now, I’m a busty girl. A great many of the men I meet through Tinder (this guy is my first Bumble match, my first Bumble Bee, if you will) ask exactly how large my bra size is because they’re in awe of my “rack,” so a man who can go 5 hours without looking (or at least without me noticing him look) is a special guy!

It’s a little thing, by itself, but there were some other notable things about him that give me hope that he might actually be a nice guy! Like I said in that other post, when I thought maybe the date should be over, or that we should at least do something other than sit and talk, he was… offended isn’t the right word, but concerned that I was trying to get him to take me home for a romantic encounter. He told me that he couldn’t imagine a world where he met a girl and took her home to sleep with her in the same night.


That is a thing that I have not encountered since I’ve been dating more… so basically since I’ve come to Houston. The Ex didn’t offer to take me home the first night, but his breathing changed when the evening was over, which makes that a positive memory in a sea of bad ones. But other than the Ex, I can’t think of a guy who took me out after the sun went down who didn’t try to get me in bed at the end of the night.

Since then, we’ve gone out twice more. The second date, he took me to my favorite little wine bistro, and this is where my concern about his drinking comes into play. We had 2 bottles of wine, plus a glass, at the bistro. I say we… I had 3 glasses, and one of those was because he ordered me a new glass while I was in the ladies’ room. I wouldn’t have ordered a third glass. If there are 4 glasses in a bottle, that means he drank a bottle and a half on his own in the maybe 3 hours we were at the restaurant.

That is an alarming amount of alcohol.

Then we went back to his house… not for sex, but because he wanted to show off his high tech, nearly sci-fi level gadgetry that he’d been telling me about. He opened another bottle once we got to his place. And after finishing that one, he opened another, that he says “we” didn’t finish.

I only had a few sips from his drink, without having another glass of my own, but we’ll be generous and say that I drank a glass’s worth. That means I drank a whole bottle within the at least 5 hours that we were hanging out. That’s one out of the four that were opened.


And now you see my concern.

The next time we got together started at his place because he says he drank so much before because he was drinking something other than his normal, and that at home he could control the amount that he drinks.

I was hoping he just wouldn’t. He’d told me he didn’t like to drink around his tech stuff, and I was hoping to have a sober evening with him. Instead, he got sloppy drunk and passed out on his couch. We had a good 3 or 4 hours of wholesome playing in before he passed out, and he was a gentleman again, so he’s legitimately a nice guy… just maybe an alcoholic?

He says this week he was supposed to be on vacation, so it’s been extenuating circumstances, so I want to give him the opportunity to prove that he’s not actually a drunkard. My roommate thinks I should be done with him. My brother thinks I should give him up to 3 more chances, to see if there’s a pattern or if it does seem to be something special.

And if he’s a functional alcoholic, is that a thing I can accept?


He is nice, and a gentleman, and we have lots in common to talk about without being so identical that it would get dull. He’s passionate, and funny. He ticks a lot of my requirement boxes, but a part of me thinks alcoholism should be a deal breaker.

We’ll see.

I don’t know if I can give him a full 3 more chances, but I’ve decided he deserves at least one, since we’ve talked about how I do think he might be an alcoholic and that bothers me. We’ll see if now that he knows it’s an issue he’ll dial it back. Or if he even can.

But anyway, that’s what’s going on in my week. I’ve got to wrap this up so I can get ready for a thing tonight with one of my girl friends. We’re going to a Bohemian pop-up dinner thing and I still have grocery shopping to do.

And less than 2 weeks of summer vacay left…. I may just cry.




High school teacher by day, relationship/romance blogger by night. Help me add author to the list. Vote for my book idea here:

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