*Edited for clarity…
This will be a short post. It’s after midnight and I just got home from an impromptu evening with the Boy (new one, not old one). It was a night that confirmed that he deserves the title more than the previous owner…
Of course, you have to understand that I mean it as in the Boy, with me being the Girl. As in a matching set. As in he is as close as I’ve ever been to the One.
Don’t get me wrong; I still understand what his situation is, and it is highly unlikely that (even if he were actually the One) anything seriously long term can develop. I just want it to be understood that he is as close as I’ve ever come… And I’ve been proposed to at least twice before.
Now, down to business…
We almost always see each other at least twice a week. Thus far it’s been Tuesday or Wednesday and then some sleepover during the weekend. Today, technically yesterday since it’s past the midnight mark, I wanted to see him on Monday. I know where I’m at in my cycle and I’m going to be on my moon time soon, and that tends to make me unbelievably feisty a couple of days before it starts.
Today was a particularly feisty day.
I thought about the Boy several times, particularly on my drive to and from work. And in my off-period. I even decided to take a selfie for him, positioned in such a way that he could see a little bit of my classroom. Instead it was good enough that it’s my new Facebook profile pic.
Suffice it to say he was on my mind today.
Mostly reminiscing about how nice our weekend visit was, but also because we didn’t plan our next day together. Now, I have no fear of not seeing him again, and last week, I wasn’t even concerned when we hadn’t scheduled anything, but I am at that point where I am a bit fixated. If I’m not careful, that can run him off.
But I decided to take a risk. I asked if I could see him tonight. He originally asked me if we could do tomorrow instead, and I originally said that was ok. Then he explained that Mondays are late days for him, and it would be a late start. I told him I could do that, and told him I was “feeling feisty.”
I got my way.
Not that I was trying to, really. I told him I could wait until the next day; whichever was best for him. He told me to come over anyway. And while this isn’t a tale of how I manipulated a man to give me what I want, it is an acknowledgement that, for the first time in at least 15 years (if not EVER), a man I was dating agreed to see me on my time, at my bidding, without a fuss.
I’d had conversations with the Old Boy about how I didn’t like that things were always on his schedule. I’ve had that conversation with a lot of guys, actually, but here is a guy who changed his plans for me, because I had a need.
When we were saying our goodbyes, it seemed very much like he was possibly put out a little bit that I was there, so I asked him if he let me come over even though it was not good for him. His response? It can’t always be on his schedule because it has to go both ways to work…
I almost jumped him right then and there because he is so perfectly what I want a man to be!
It was a big relief since there was a time about a month ago when he made me a little uncomfortable because he wanted to do stuff I couldn’t really do because, moon time, and yet he was able to get his release while I couldn’t. I had been concerned then that this was going to be another one of those situations where it was always his way, no matter what… which didn’t mesh with the way he often asks if I’m ok, or agrees to something that he’s somewhat obviously not 100% comfortable with…
Like the telling of our mutual friends that we’re together. We haven’t done so yet, but I think he’ll honor what he said and at least not deny it if it comes up in conversation for some reason.
So, just keep in mind, ladies and gentlemen, it’s important to make sure both parties are equally satisfied, and it cannot always be on one person’s time-table.
This is still an issue I have with the Old Boy, even though we’re just friends now… more of acquaintances really, but you get the point. We still do everything on his schedule, which means hardly ever. The few times we have seen each other lately, again I had to initiate contact, or negotiate a time, or practically persuade him that us seeing each other to catch up was even worth the effort. The problem is that the effect is that, in his case, it’s only convincing me that he’s been right all along and it never was worth the effort.
Every time contact is made, he reminds me again (through his actions or reactions mostly) of why we could never have worked in the long run. Which is why he must relinquish his moniker. From here on out the Old Boy will just be The Ex.
So much for this being a short post…