Not as Planned…

This school year has been more involved than I expected. The result has been that I’ve not been writing. At all. Not on here, not for NaNoWriMo, not even in my new notebook I bought just for writing poetry and things…

Instead, it’s been all lesson plans and grading papers, and making copies, and supporting my kiddos at their games and things.

And occasionally a date here or there.

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I’m back on Tinder. Not really a big surprise there.  My dating life is practically non-existent given my lack of time due to work, and also the lack of men who are willing to actually ask me out.

Don’t get me wrong, there are men in my life… just none that seem to want to actually date me. Or none that will admit to it anyway.

The Boy and I are doing relatively well in our friends only existence. We’re still learning how to communicate, but he is confident that we are making progress. I’m not always as confident, but he’s trying really hard to make sure I don’t feel belittled and unwanted like he has made me feel in the past.

In the past, I was sure he was a narcissist and that he was taking advantage of my more empathic qualities.

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I saw a really great article about just that thing over the weekend. If that really is the case, we skipped a few steps, and keep coming back to step 9. Or at least that’s how I see it. I’m at the point now where I refuse to let him keep getting what he wants out of this rela-friendship while ignoring what I need.

And the fact that he’s really trying to see it from my perspective and is actively trying to not do that makes me feel like we’re making progress, specifically in our communication… and I hate to even say that out loud because every time I do, it backfires.

Either way, yes, he’s a guy in my life, but we’re not dating.

justfriends

Seriously. Just friends, no benefits attached.

And I have a few other guy friends that I hang out with, too. All just friends, though there is some debate about whether or not one or two of them would like to date me but just aren’t willing to say anything to me about it.

So, back to Tinder I go in order to find some romantic potential.

I did manage to match with three gentlemen that I find to be intriguing.

One I know from outside of Tinder. It’s the first time I’ve matched with someone I know… but we haven’t actually gone out yet. I’ve even tried to initiate the conversation to get things rolling, but there’s always a reason why not. Now I’m more than a little bit bored waiting for him to get around to actually asking me out… just like the other men in my life.

sighish

Another one, we went out over the break. It went well enough that we got together twice in one day, but I don’t think I’ll be hearing from him again. He’s recently out of a longish relationship, and he seems like one of those guys who doesn’t let people in. That’s already the main problem I have with the  Boy… don’t know if I have the patience to deal with that with a second fella.

The third one is a Geek Girl’s dream!

Well… mostly. He definitely is a gamer and fun to talk to. Haven’t met him face to face yet. The main reason I swiped right for him was because he has the most gorgeous light brown eyes, but, if I’m honest, I am not as physically attracted to him as I am the other two. Then again, personality has always been more important to me anyway.

The biggest issue is that his financial situation is not ideal. Neither is mine… And thinking about a potential romantic situation when both of us are in less than stellar financial situations gives me pause. I guess we’ll just see how it goes.

letsjustseehowitgoes

There were a few others that I liked but that showed me their crazy before it was too late.

Like this one guy, a doctor, who was looking for a cuddle buddy who could eventually become a partner. He was really wife hunting. I told him I liked the idea of watching a movie with him while cuddling, but I wanted to meet him first to make sure we got along. He started planning for that night, immediately, and well…

I don’t do spontaneous very well.

Besides, I had plans already with one of my guy friends. So we made tentative plans for the next day, and after 2 hours of talking to him through text, I told him I had to go get ready for the evening.

He texted me again, twice, while he knew I was busy. The first time less than two hours after we’d spoken, just to ask how my afternoon was going. The second time was while I was at the movie I’d told him I’d be at with friends. He texted me as I was shutting off my phone because we were at an Alamo Drafthouse, and if you’ve never been, you should know that they WILL kick you out if you text during a movie:

I had ignored the first text, but this one, I was less than courteous… or at least it felt less than courteous. I simply told him that I was out, “just like I said I’d be when we spoke four hours ago.”

I then promptly turned my phone off, hoping he’d gotten the hint that he was being clingy already. We had just met a few hours before, and we’d made plans to meet the next day. Why was he texting me every two hours to check up on me?

When he texted 3 times the very next day, twice before I’d even woken up, I’d had it. The third text was asking if I was no longer interested, and I’d told him I wasn’t sure anymore. I didn’t appreciate him texting so many times when we’d just met. It came across as clingy and needy, and a little bit desperate, and it was not attractive.

His response? He told me he just wanted me to know he wasn’t talking to anyone else…

We’d met less than 24 hours ago… He should have been talking to other people. I was. Why on earth would I quit talking to the other guys (only 2 at the time) when I didn’t know if this guy was a keeper? And my instincts told me he wasn’t… even though he was a doctor.

So he agreed to calm it down.

And then texted me two more times before our scheduled date, just to make sure I was still interested.

At which point, I was NOT. And I told him so. Told him I didn’t need that kind of drama in my life. I find my own drama well enough. I don’t need someone who is going to stalk my every move trying to date me, especially after I found out he’s a cuddler. I’m really not that into cuddling. It has a time and a place, and a purpose! But I don’t cuddle just to cuddle very often.

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Yeah, I’d been interested in it for the purpose of watching a movie together, but I need space! Once in a while is ok… but he wanted a full on cuddle buddy. Nope! Can’t do it.

So anyway. He’s gone, and there are these other three, though I’m fairly certain two of them aren’t going to last for long. We’ll see, though.

Meanwhile, I hurt my back. It’s kept me out of work a couple of days, but I go back tomorrow. I don’t feel ready, but it is what it is.

Plus, I’m still pissed about the whole Trump thing. It gets worse every day instead of better, but c’est la vie, right? All I can do is be vocal about my concerns, and hope that we don’t end up with a Nazi Germany situation in America… although I can see we might be headed for a Civil War or something over this.

Problem is, it’s mostly Trump supporters who have the guns… Not a great situation to be in.

Ugh! Nothing in my life is as planned right now. It’s very frustrating!

188252 angry woman screaming on landline phone

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