This week, if we were sharing coffee, we’d be curled up in our jammies on my (temporary) roommate’s big, comfy leather couch because I have big plans not to even get into the shower until later tonight. I’d tell you that I was exhausted from the work I’ve done this week, and that I’m loving my job in spite of the long hours, and the redundancy, and the incessant talking of the students, and the tons of papers to grade, and the tons of changes being made to the schedule… all the time!
It’s a bit crazy…
Until yesterday, I hadn’t seen the sun all week except for briefly on Tuesday when I met up with a friend and on Thursday because of a fire drill. I’ve been getting to work at or before 6:30 in the morning because it was my week for hall duty, and then not leaving until after 8 pm.
Monday, I was there until just after 9. The custodian came in, and I thought he was kicking me out, but it turned out that he was telling me to lock my door but prop it open when I left. He broke his key in the teacher’s door next to mine. It was okay, though, because the computer was getting slow and I couldn’t do much more at the school anyhow. I imagine that all the other teachers were doing what I was doing which was inputting grades so as to not be on the naughty list. So, I went home and finished putting the grades in that way. They were finished and submitted by midnight.
Whatever problem I had last year, I’ve worked it out, thank the Gods!
Tuesday, I technically left the school before 7, but it was to meet up with a friend to see the Magnifecent Seven… again!
I saw it last weekend, and loved it! But I had wanted to see it with this particular friend, and as he had said he wanted to watch it with me, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to see it again. The first time I saw it, I distinctly heard part of the music from Legends of the Fall in the music, but this time around, I heard a few elements, but not the actual melody that I was certain I’d heard the first time. Not sure if I was just tired, or if I was wrong the first time. I might watch it again just to see. I’m going to try to write a review of it this weekend, since I enjoy writing those.
Wednesday, we had meetings after school until 4 or 4:30, and I told myself I wasn’t going to stay that late, and then, lo and behold, I was there until 8:30 again.
Thursday was open house, which I had completely forgotten about until the principal reminded us about it on Wednesday during our meeting. I originally thought that I could do open house, and have everything together for our weekly Twitter chat, and then when it was over, I’d just jump right into the chat… But, my last parent didn’t leave until 8:45, so at about 8:15, I had to jump onto Twitter to let the world know it wasn’t happening. It was rather disappointing. I have some really good questions put together! I guess we’ll just do it next week instead.
Then yesterday, I told myself I wasn’t going to stay late. And I didn’t. I still stayed until about 4:15, which is nearly two hours later than necessary, but I didn’t stay long enough to finish all of my grading. I did bring it home with me, and that is part of my plan for my jammie-wearing Saturday.
Which brings us to today.
Today is Saturday. It’s a beautiful day (if the light streaming through my window can be believed), and I am determined to stay in my pj’s and go NOWHERE, until later in the evening. I’m tired. Very tired. I’ve already slept for about 12 hours, only waking up once last night to empty my bladder, when during the week, I generally wake up five or six times… And I feel like I could go right back to sleep and get another four hours of sleep before I’d feel fully human again.
I have papers to grade, and brought everything I need home with me to do so. That’s my plan for today. I already ate the last of my pizza from last night. It’s not on my diet, but it was tasty. And I’m seriously thinking I’ll go back to bed for a midday nap here soon. I need to be rested up because tonight, I am finally meeting Gym Guy.
Yes, that’s right, I’m finally going to meet him face to face and see if he’s worth the time I’ve spent on him. He’s very sweet. He sends me the “hello, beautiful,” texts I love, and when I was really sick, he offered to come bring me soup and take care of me, though we hadn’t even met face to face yet. That is a thing that is strange to me. He acts as if we’ve known each other for a really long time, and yet, that’s not true. We’ve been talking for a couple of weeks, that’s true, but we haven’t even been in the same space yet.
I know that on my part, I’m not as excited as I think I should be to be finally meeting him. My concerns about my body vs. his body are definitely there, but I’m also concerned about my intelligence vs. his intelligence.
Conversations with him don’t flow, which is partially my fault. I do have a hard time knowing when it’s my turn to talk, as seen in some of our daily meetings that we have at the school. I’ve been known to interrupt, so I look at the person talking and wait until they stop before I begin, but sometimes what that means is that I open my mouth to speak, and then if they beat me to it, I close my mouth again. Once, I did that like 4 times before my department head realized what was happening and called on me like I was a kid so I could share.
With Gym Guy, I mean something a little different: we’ve talked several times and we text regularly, but it’s not good, meaningful conversations. Nothing of substance gets said, unless I monopolize the conversation, and then when it’s his turn, he talks about… nothing.
For instance, the Boy courted me for six weeks almost entirely through written word while he was off-shore, and I was so ready to see him that even though I was seeing more than just him, I was often thinking about him while I was with the other guy. He kept me enthralled with the complexity of our conversations and the ways he would drop a few naughty things in, but it wasn’t just discussing the minutia of our daily lives or just sex stuff. We talked about movies, and TV shows, and games, and writing…
With the Bartender, it was equally as exciting, and we only texted until we met each other for the first time. He kept my attention and it felt like an equal give and take in the conversations. I felt like he was as excited to meet me as I was to meet him.
Same with the Pirate. I knew he was interested! Plus, even though I outweighed him by probably 75 pounds, I wasn’t concerned about my weight that much. It didn’t feel like something I should be concerned about…
With this guy, I’m worried about that on top of the rest.
Gym Guy… the conversations are stinted. He talks just about what is happening right at the moment, and there’s not a lot of delving deeper into the personality of each other. It’s all superficial, and yet, he said last night that he felt as if we’d known each other for a long time.
Yeah, I don’t know…
He’s having a fundraiser today; as I’m writing this, it is underway. He invited me to it, to come try his homemade barbecue sauce. See, he owns a gym, but there’s a fundraiser today in the form of a barbecue or fajitas or some such. He said that he didn’t really understand why they wanted his barbecue sauce, but because it is so good that he thought he could sell it, in fact he was sure of it! And thus, he wanted to know if I would be there to try it out.
I told him I figured he’d be busy and I didn’t think that would be the best way for us to have a first meeting. He told me that was probably true, and then asked what plans I had for this evening.
And thus our first date has been tentatively scheduled.
We didn’t settle anything for definite because it sort of depends on how tired he is. He was still making barbecue sauce when we hung up a little after midnight. And he was still in the middle of the fundraiser when I last spoke to him. I need to know something soon because I am really tired this weekend.
See, the timing thing is an issue, too.
Our schedules are very opposite one another. His gym is open only in the evenings, and so he stays up late, but I need to be in bed by 10 in order to function throughout the week. Lately I’ve been burning the candle at both ends, as it were, so on the weekends, I’m basically a couch potato.
In contrast, he seems to be always moving, and it even shows up in our conversations. He’s always on his way to do something, or in the middle of doing something when we talk. He needs me to listen to his situation, and it’s all surface conversation. I don’t know anything about what moves him, what drives him.
And I don’t know if he can keep up with me in a conversation if I start using larger words.
One of the guys from work suggested I give him a vocab test before we actually go out. Well… he said I should just start throwing larger words into the conversation. “Toss ‘meticulously’ at him and see how he handles it…”
At the risk of being a grammar snob, I’m not sure he’s ready for a word like “meticulously.” He was trying to tell me about the complications of his day and said something about every little thing he did that day took “extra longer…”
I can’t say it didn’t give me pause. I know myself well enough to know that if he can’t keep me intellectually stimulated, I’m going to get very bored very fast.
Just the other day, I turned down a Tinderfella because he’d bored me. I’d begun speaking to him just around the time Gym Guy and I started talking. He was an artist, but unlike the Artist, he actually got paid for his artwork. Of course, he has the stereotypical ego that goes along with it. He’s got my number, and likes to remind me how big his member is. He thinks that will convince me to come play with him. He’s never said anything intelligent, and I haven’t pushed. I just tell him “no” when he decides I need to drop everything to come see him at 9 on a school night to check out his latest commission.
And then I don’t hear from him for a while.
He’s got amazing blue eyes, and I would like to have a lengthy discussion with him about art… if he’d ever invite me out for a drink on, you know, a real date. Like one where it’s planned and all that.
Gym Guy actually asked me out, but I’m nervous about whether or not he’ll think I’m not pretty in person because of my size, and I’m more nervous that he’ll bore me because he isn’t very intellectual. Fingers crossed that I’m just being silly.