Tonight on #JustAddTea: Disney

Last week, when we revisited the discussion of Beauty, we opened up by talking about Disney princesses. Why? Because they’re the quintessential definition of Beauty for some people. The qualities possessed by Disney princesses can show you how society views women at any particular moment in history.

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I know, I know. It’s shocking and slightly horrifying… especially the further back we go in the Disney princess histories.

I mean look at Snow White, she was totally helpless because she was innocent and virtuous, and the main conflict of her story was that she was so beautiful that her stepmother wanted to kill her. I can’t remember if she wanted to eat her heart, like in some of the more morbid incarnations of the Snow White story, but still… death by poisoned apple, just because you’re pretty, is awfully extreme!

And what does it say about women? They’re supposed to be beautiful, which, in this case, means pale with dark hair and very red lips… They’re supposed to be so innocent that they are totally helpless. They are supposed to be completely domesticated (remember, the first thing she does when she gets to the dwarves’ home is begin cooking and cleaning for them). And they can only be truly happy if a man finds them so beautiful, he contemplates necrophilia in order to be with them.

Yeah. That’s a horrible drawback to the story. The prince made out with a dead girl because she was sooooo beautiful and then “true love’s kiss” is what brings her back to life.

Because all women want a man who is rich (a prince) and only desires them for their looks. He must save us from all that thinking stuff…

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Cinderella?

Again it is her beauty that is valued. While in the original story it is her kindness and her devotion to her dead mother that gets her the gifts that will eventually put her in the prince’s path, in the Disney version she has a fairy godmother who just happens to grant her a wish.

Probably because she’s beautiful.

Again, women are to be pretty, but blonde this time, and totally willing to slave away doing the housework if they are to be rewarded with True Love.

Well, that and a whole slew of very loving anthropomorphized vermin pets who can sew.

Or that don’t mind being turned into other creatures.

Cracked does a really neat animation about that.

I love that the “dog” is the smarter of the two.

As the times change, Disney princesses change, too.

Pocahontas (although they totally changed the history of the story) and Mulan are both willing to defy their traditional roles to save people. Belle is more than just her looks; she is intelligent as well!

And Disney princesses keep growing and changing until Elsa and Merida finally tell us that it’s okay to be strong on your own, and you shouldn’t fall in love just because some man wants you. In fact, in Frozen, the man who wants Elsa’s sister, Anna, is really the bad guy!

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So, you should get to know a person before jumping at the chance to get married.

I can identify with that.

I had two different guys propose to me before I’d even turned 21, and neither of them would have been right for me. One was abusive and the other was crazy, but they asked, and were sincere when they asked, I think.

Of course, directly after that, there was a four year relationship drought… that really lasted more like 12 years if I’m really honest about it.

The guys after that weren’t really interested in having a relationship, and I’ve kind of been up against that ever since: men who are looking for just good looks and no substance like the Snow White ideal of a woman.

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Even with the Boy, what went wrong with him was that I wanted a relationship, and I thought that was what he was trying to get from me, and I was wrong. That misunderstanding, which he tried to verbally correct while his actions still were relationship based, led to me wasting a very long amount of time in trying to figure out how to make a relationship happen with him because I (and a few other people) saw how we fit together.

Sometimes, even now, I occasionally get a twinge of an idea that it could still work because he was the first guy in 12 years or more who was interested in more than just the physical from me.

And that’s the big problem I have. I find myself faced with men (at least the ones who are willing to actually ask me out) who only want something physical. None of them are willing to actually interact on an intellectual level… not for long.

That was the problem I had with the Pirate.

And by “problem,” I mean that is why I tried to convince myself that there was something real there for so long. He presented himself as being someone who was interested in intellectual pursuits. Someone who wanted substance and not just the physical.

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Yeah that one’s not Disney, but the point is still valid!

Only… swap “beauty” for “sex” in this case, because he, who made a big show of not having romantic relations but just intellectual, would keep me from participating in the conversation, and made several attempts to get physical in a way that was supposed to appear innocent but was just an immature way to feel me up like a high school kid.

I suppose I can answer my own question because yes, sex is all that matters to those guys who keep coming into my life.

People try to tell me it’s because I’m on Tinder, but it’s what I’ve been up against for years, way before Tinder, as in before it even existed and even after it existed but before I was on it.

Just man after man after man of trying to get into my pants, but not have something meaningful.

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But tonight, we’re going to step away from the dating issues so we can discuss that happiness of Disney. I’m going to try not to dwell on the fact that I’m just going to be alone forever waiting for someone who actually likes me as a person and wants to have a conversation with me, but also wants to be romantic with me on a pretty regular basis.

Yeah, now I’ve managed to depress myself. Now I need a discussion over something light like Disney movies.

So. Join us on Twitter tonight at 8 pm Central Time as we discuss all things Disney!

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One thought on “Tonight on #JustAddTea: Disney

  1. I am 47 and have been married for 15 years. I had a joke the other day with myself about an older woman thinking: “JUst Use Me”. Not that I feel that way but there is that thing with trophy wives with absent husbands and the tradie. I met my husband through friends and I still think this is the best way of meeting someone, although it does get harder once your friends start marrying off.
    Speaking of relationships, I’m about to catch up on an episode I missed of the Australian Bachelor. I love the show. Love the character analysis and trying to guess who he’s going to pick. Richie is also rather handsome. Not that women ever go for men based on looks.
    Take care!
    xx Rowena

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