The Beginning of Something Beautiful

Last night was my first Twitter Chat. If you missed it, I am very sorry, but we had a heck of a good time without you.

But I hope you’ll make it to the next one!

Was it as massive as something like the #Spoofchat that I go to on Wednesdays? No, but I wouldn’t have been able to handle one with so very many people! Not my first time… You have to ease me into that. Be gentle; I’m fragile. 

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We discussed, as promised, pickup lines and the Meet Cute. Consequently, I have a list of RomComs that I plan to binge this weekend; some I’ve not seen, and some I just haven’t seen in a while. Here’s a couple that were mentioned:

Others include The Holiday and Serendipity. Of course, my favorite is the one I mentioned in yesterday’s post, the one from Stardust.  Plus there’s the classic: When Harry Met Sallywhich is apparently the go to when learning what to do when writing a Meet Cute.

It should be an interesting weekend… I’m not usually one for RomComs, especially not in massive quantities. I know it’s odd since I write romance stories, but they depress me a little because real life doesn’t work like that. I’m that girl who watches the lovers and think “I’ll never have that,” while hugging my stuffed bear. Or stuffed Dalek in my case.

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But we didn’t just discuss Romantic Comedies, though we probably could have made a night of just that. We also discussed how to handle introducing yourself to a stranger, whether it be through a pickup line, or having a mutual friend introduce you (which seems to work…almost always).

There seems to be two camps on the introduction front: those who walk semi-confidently to the object of our interest, and those who run the opposite direction.

Obviously, the first group are inherently more successful. So how do those of us who aren’t so brave actually meet people?

There’s the aforementioned mutual friend option. This may require a bit of research. You see it in the movies, where the protagonist spots some gorgeous person who must be destined to be their soulmate (or the seducer to keep them from their soulmate) and they ask someone nearby, “Who is that?!” 

Oddly enough, in the movies, the person they stop, though a seemingly random and almost always nameless person, always knows who “that” is. In real life, you might have to watch from a distance to see who the person of interest interacts with.

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This actually could work to your benefit in more than one way. Not only can you see who they interact with, but you might actually unintentionally catch their attention. We seem to have the ability to sense when someone’s looking at us (which is what inspired last night’s poem). Maybe it’s a spiritual thing, or some sort of evolutionary defense mechanism, but we somehow just know.

So while you’re secretly watching to determine if you have a mutual acquaintance,  if they sense you, go ahead and make eye contact.

This is where I struggle, because I don’t really understand how long is an acceptable amount of eye contact. I’ve read (or maybe it was in a movie) where they say that more than 6 seconds signals attraction, but that seems like a really long time to stare a stranger in the eye.

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I’ve also read (and, again, I’m terrible at this) that you should make eye contact for a moment (how long is that? Who knows), look away and then look back and smile.

When I try this, I end up looking like some sort of person with a twitch, I get caught up in counting the seconds and in trying to maintain eye contact, I end up making my eyes too wide or something. My mother laughed at me once because I tried this while we were on a vacation once. I don’t know if she knows I saw her laugh at me, so, shhhh… don’t tell her.

This is basically how I feel about flirting:

I am awkward. There’s no denying that. Oddly enough, though, people keep telling me they don’t see it. So maybe I only feel awkward. For me the key is to be a version of myself.

We’ve talked about it before, about the masks we all where and for me, because of the Asperger’s Syndrome, I wear them All. The. Time. But we all do it. We create personas, and in the flirtation realm, it really is a game of fake it til you make it. Acting confident is the key. Several of the guys I’ve dated have said something about me needing to regain my confidence that I had when we met. The Bartender practically screamed it at me on his way out the door.

But let’s not dwell on that mess.

I find I actually have the most luck meeting guys when I’m being someone else’s wing woman. A coworker of mine and I went out for drinks one night, and she was down in the dumps over a bad break up and needed a man to make her feel better. So, I wore the persona of the good friend, walked up to guys she pointed out as being cute, and told them that we were trying to make her ex jealous because he’d been Facebook stalking her. I think I added something about him realizing he let her get away… Then asked them if I could take pics of them with her having a good time, smiling, laughing, that sort of thing.

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It worked! They usually had a friend with them, and so we’d all talk for a while and sometimes switch guys. My boldness intrigued them, while her fictitious sob story about her breakup got their sympathy, and in true male fashion, they would go into fix it mode and try to help her overcome her sadness.

We did that several times.

She had gone through a rough breakup recently, so it wasn’t total fiction, but oh did we play it up sometimes!

I guess the main lesson here is that boldness is key. Boldness, or confidence, attracts men. I’ve seen it time and time again. It’s a little contradictory to the whole, “men like to chase,” theory, but we are in different times.

Of course, it doesn’t always work, which is why next week’s #JustAddTea virtual tea party will discuss how to deal with rejection.

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Hope to see you there!

Here’s a list of the questions from last night, in case you’d like to chime in. I always love feedback, and I try really hard to respond to everyone.

  1. At a party where you don’t know anyone, how do you join the conversation?
  2. If things get awkward, what’s your smooth recovery line?
  3. What’s your favorite Hollywood Meet Cute scene?
  4. Have you ever experienced a Meet Cute in real life? Details, please.
  5. Someone across the room has caught your attention; how do you catch theirs?
  6. Share a pickup line that has worked.
  7. What’s the worst pickup line you’ve ever heard?

I hope this is just the beginning of many, many more #JustAddTea Twitter chats!

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2 thoughts on “The Beginning of Something Beautiful

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