Next in our series of guest posters is one of my favorite bloggers: Clare, from the duo over at Live ClareLesley. These ladies are always very uplifting, and it seems they always say exactly what I need to hear when I need to hear it, whether it be advice or just a reminder that goals are important and CAN be achieved. So I was happy to invite them to participate in our look into romance and erotica. So without further ado, here is Clare’s take on erotica:
A little introduction first: I’m a 6ft tall, unnatural red headed actress in NYC. I am one half of a blog writing duo, and of the two of us, I’m the prude. In fact, with my minimal sexual history and dalliance record, I’m a prude compared to much of today’s society. I’m single and happily so. Don’t get me wrong–I love all things sex. However, I haven’t had many matches. I don’t leap into romantic relationships–I develop friendships first. My only one night stand turned into a 3 month relationship. I spent 6 months on Tinder, OK Cupid and another dating website. I spent several hours a day on these sites trying to find a match, and spent some of that time just trying to get laid. I could not get anyone to meet me in person. Seriously. And I’m attractive and funny!
All of that being said, I’m an advocate of erotica.
Everyone needs an escape from reality. Everyone needs their own version of a fantasy. Everyone deserves a fantasy world that they can dip in and out of in order to escape the harsh reality. I love to escape my own harsh reality of New York–which I’m having a fervid love affair with, and would not move from this city–but like any relationship, it has it’s ups and downs. Especially in the dating scene–which stinks any place else, but blows here–and not in the good way. (Let me put it this way…my longest relationship since moving here 6 years ago, has been with a dude who I–ahem, text–occasionally, who lives in Northern California.) Fantasy is needed almost as much as sleep to let go of the bad and move on to the next thing. Relationships, life choices, even just a week or day. Dive into the fantasy! And why shouldn’t it be erotica?!? Why can’t fantasy be sexy?
The funny thing is, I want well thought out fantasy. I like my erotica well written with a plot and disguised–maybe it’s the Disney generation I was raised in, but I love a good erotic fairy tale. Which also follows my point that erotica is a healthy escape. I love a dirty version of a mermaid or princess story. And don’t turn up your nose–they can have just as many shades of grey…
Fantasy is good for the brain. It shuts out the world and lets you recharge and restart. So why not make it what fantasy you want–PG or XXX. My mom always says that as long as you don’t hurt anyone and you can still be a daily functioning human, live how you want. The funny thing is that erotica, except in erotica circles and the shushed voices of 50s housewives seems so taboo–I was even shirking at writing this guest blog–but why? It’s just sex in fiction form. How is that any more harmful to society? Sex has been around for almost as long as animals have–depending on your creation/evolution view! Sex is an act that everyone does or wants to do. It doesn’t hurt anyone (the hurt is the emotions surrounding it!) and fiction can’t hurt anyone. Sex actually releases tension and stress. It helps!!!! So why not indulge in it, real or fantasy?
So I say go forth, grab those bodice rippers that use delightful words like engorged, swollen, heaving bosoms…and live out those fantasies.
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