I’m a tease.

When I decided to ask people to guest blog for me for this month, I had absolutely no idea what to expect, but I have to say I enjoyed our first guest post from MJ Lewis. It is interesting to see inside the mind of another author for a moment. I say “author…” I’m a blogger, and a teacher, but I aspire to be an author, and part of why I’m doing this month long look at Romance/Erotica writing is because I think I might have a knack for that.

We’ll get to that in a moment. Just hold on, I promise we’ll come back to that… Maybe even with my own attempt at writing some naughty tidbits for you to enjoy. 

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First, can we all take a moment just to appreciate that MJ uses his “dick as a barometer”? For the rest of my life, that may be the best way to describe how to judge if romance/erotica is good. Because he’s right, if it is something that excites you, it will probably excite someone. After all, Rule 34 of the internet is that whatever you can think up, there has been porn made of it. No exceptions.

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Let’s try not to dwell on that too hard…

And in this world where self publishing, or even just publishing on the internet, offers you a plethora of possible fans to appreciate your work, why not write what you love? Particularly if what you love is what you love. 

Every time I use “love” in that way, I think of the movie The Truth About Cats and Dogs, where Janeane Garofalo is giving advice on her radio talkshow about how you can “love your pets, just don’t love your pets.”

Moving on.

I’ve been lucky enough that Goodreads Guy has been particularly helpful in the realm of naughty typing. He read the beginning of my novel, the one that I’ve got posted on Tablo for you to peruse, and also that you can vote on (click here) to help me get published.

If you’ll remember, he had not impressed me at first. He came at me, on Goodreads (hence the nickname), telling me I had gorgeous eyes. This immediately turned into him trying to seduce me verbally, from Philly no less, for what I’ve since found out was the purpose of just “masturbatory fodder.” I don’t mind being someone’s fantasy, so long as I get a little something out of it, and we’ve actually had quite the interesting correspondence via email.

He’s quite young, or at least by my dating standards, and yet, as you can probably tell from the pic, he is very, very, VERY hot.

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Ex-military, very sexually experienced, well read (which was the main reason I let him come back and start talking to me), and he writes beautiful, sensual, dirty messages that make me feel very desired, and also slightly like a piece of meat, but somehow in a good way.

I haven’t quite worked out how he manages that, but I believe that it is probably the key to what makes romance novels and erotica so popular.

Women (and probably men, too) want to be desired. I’ve written about it often enough on here, culminating with my want for a man who looks at me with Colin Farrell eyes, and I think at the core of what makes romance popular is that we get to live vicariously through characters that are desired in that way we crave so much.

The Bartender looks at me that way, but he comes with baggage (his words, not mine) that makes it…unlikely that I can keep that look forever.

But oh what I wouldn’t give to be able to wake up to that look every day and the feel of his arms around me, speaking beautiful words breathily in my ear with that amazingly lyrical Colombian accent of his. He’s one that I would like for him to just sit in front of me and talk to me for hours. Clothed, naked, doesn’t matter. I love the way he speaks, the way he tells stories, and the classy way he talks to me.

He would never say some of the raunchy, filthy things that Goodreads Guy has said to me. The Bartender respects me too much, and loves to tell me that I deserve to be treated like a princess.

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Goodreads Guy, on the other hand, tells me that I’m amazing and remarkable, and then describes, in great detail how (after seeing a pic of me in the driver’s seat of my car, rocking a Deadpool t-shirt) he would yank the headrest off and bend me over the seat and proceed to take me in a manly fashion…

That’s as clean as I can make it. It was a very descriptive, very naughty message.

He also, in a different message, used “quim” in it’s archaic sense, to mean the juices caused by the female orgasm…

And we all know how a nice vocabulary affects me.

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So when a man like that tells me he likes the opening scene of my story, yet it fell short of his expectations because the two characters didn’t copulate, I was rather pleased.

See, I am a tease.

Anyone who’s read my views on flirting should realize this.

I like the idea of getting someone worked up and then leaving them wanting. Why? Because I want the other person to take over and ravage me! I want the guy who will rip the headrest off of my almost new car and bend me over the seat because he can’t stand not to have me.

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And I do that in my writing as well. There are teasing moments (like the first scene), and memories that give more…graphic…details, but the moment when our characters finally, in real time, get down to the dirty deed, it is because he can’t stand not to have her.

It goes back to what MJ said about writing something that turns the writer on. The teasing is good for me, it fits my sensual needs and desires. Surely someone else will appreciate it as well. Particularly because the scene in which they do finally get together is so very hot!

That part hasn’t been posted on Tablo yet, so if you’re waiting for it, I’m sorry. You’ll have to wait a bit longer. But in the meantime, do, please, check it out and let me know if you think I’ve captured the essence of the sensual/erotic/romance/what-have-you. I’d love some feedback.

You can find it here. See what a tease I am?

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Thanks again to MJ Lewis for his insightful post yesterday. Definitely check out his page over at the Scribbles of Lewis, but, as he warned, he does include some horror as well. In fact, I’d say he tends to blend the erotic with horror. I find it fascinating, but it might be disturbing if you’re not prepared for it.

I can’t wait to see what insight the next guest post brings!

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10 thoughts on “I’m a tease.

  1. Hi, I just came across your blog via Twitter. So glad I did! Great first post for me to read, I will be having a look further for sure.
    Have a great day 🙂
    Amy💕

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