A Romance worthy of Wade Wilson

My belated Valentine’s date was practically perfect in every way! The Bartender keeps surprising me, over and over again. He just keeps getting better and better…

It was a simple date, lacking all the frills of a Valentine’s Day, which was nice, but I did get dressed up in some of my tallest, strappiest heels. 

strappiest shoes

Which, of course, meant I towered over him a bit, but it was alright. He threatened to wear my heels the next time we went out, although I don’t think they’ll fit him. I’m sure they won’t fit him actually. His feet are too big…

We went to the movie after he worked a double, and then we stayed up until nearly 3 am talking, telling stories about our pasts. I love the fact that he and I can talk about anything and just talk for hours and hours. Well, he did most of the talking, which, for those of you who know me (or as you might have guessed from the verbosity of this blog),  is a little bit backwards from my usual. Usually I’m the one doing all the talking which I think is why I tend to get bored with them so quickly.

But he tells stories like I do. And I’m not the slightest bit bored with him yet.

He makes me unbelievably happy, and I don’t know how long it can last, but I’m really hoping it lasts for a long, long time.

I find myself not wanting to share him with the rest of the world just yet, thus, onto the movie review. From this point on there may very well be spoilers… although I’m writing this quite a bit after having seen it and I find myself struggling with some of the details because my brain is stuck on the Bartender and just how wonderfully happy he makes me feel.

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So, if you’re like me and you enjoy the comic book movies, but aren’t exactly a comic book reader, this movie might come as a bit of a shock to you. Luckily for me, several of my students had given me a bit of a heads up as to what to expect: Violence, breaking the 4th wall, more violence, foul language, and even more violence!

To say that this movie is NOT kid friendly is an understatement, and frankly anybody who was dumb enough to take their kids to this movie, even though it’s rated R and after all the massive warnings on Facebook and other social media about how NOT KID FRIENDLY this movie was, deserves to lose their money when they are forced to take their kids out of the theater… Or pay the therapy bills afterwards. You know, whichever.

To give you an idea of the gore, the very opening credits show stills (I think that’s the right term) of Deadpool killing a large quantity of people in very inventive ways. One such way was with a cigarette lighter… a car cigarette lighter. Or at the very least, he made the guy really uncomfortable by burning his forehead with the aforementioned cigarette lighter.

Another example? Deadpool can heal from ANYTHING, so, when he saws his own hand off with a pocket knife (see? Not a kid’s movie) it grows back in a rather disturbing way.

So yeah, it’s violent.

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But the big question: Is it a date worthy movie?

Well, at it’s heart, this is either a love story with superhero elements or a superhero movie with a love story attached. So the potential for a good date movie is there.

Plus I know that I found myself hiding my eyes a bit, and if I was a little more comfortable with serious cuddling in public, I would have probably hidden my face in my guy’s shirt. Definite passion points for that.

So what’s it about? Boy meets girl, or rather Mercenary meets Prostitute. They fall in love, but just before their happily ever after begins, he finds out he’s dying of cancer which has spread to… everywhere. Well, everywhere important, as he points out to her in a very sarcastic way.

Here are two people, Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) and Vanessa (Morena Baccarin), who are equally as irreverent and perverse. They are perfect for one another, as seen by their chemistry in the really great holiday sex montage.

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Wade’s love for Vanessa is so strong that he decides to undergo a very painful (torturous even) treatment, the result of which makes him a mutant. His mutation? He can heal from anything (like the aforementioned sawing off of his own freaking hand), but at the cost of the cancer in his body covering him with scarred flesh.

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Thus the driving motivation for Deadpool’s killing spree in this movie is to get the villain, Francis (Ed Skrein), who really wants to be called Ajax, to fix his skin so he can get back to his true love.

So it is really a very, very romantic movie… Once you get past all the death, gore, and cursing.

There is some interaction with and references to various X-Men, and in true Deadpool fashion, there are tons of little Easter Eggs that allude to other movies/comic books, and plenty of acknowledgement that this is fiction. Deadpool makes reference at one point to Professor X, asking which one: Patrick Stewart or James McAvoy.

This is one of those movies that has potential to be a good date movie. It was good for me, obviously, but definitely depends on the company. Geek girls and girls who like action movies will appreciate this with their significant other, but I imagine that the stereotypical girly girl might not appreciate the gore. Then again, like I said, it’s a good one for shielding her from the gore via cuddling. Seems I’ve seen that as a trope in movies and television: the guy will take a girl to a horror movie to encourage snuggling, adding to the protective alpha male facade.

I think I’ll have to see it again in order to give it a proper review, but this will do for now. There are big chunks missing because my date spent a goodly part of the movie distracting me…

Oh! He is just so dreamy!!!

 

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