Taking the good with the bad…

Coming off of a week of not feeling quite human (although, let’s be honest, I never quite feel human…), or rather a week of being sick as a dog, I was supposed to have a brunch date today. He never specified a time, and as I’m trying really hard not to be the alpha in my relationships, I didn’t offer one, but instead waited for him to make a move. He initiated the meeting initially, but then quickly got cold feet, as far as I can tell anyhow.

To be honest I didn’t think he was going to work out anyhow. His oldest son is the same age as my youngest brother. Something about that is particularly disturbing. It somehow lends itself to some sort of fantasy similar to The Graduate or the pseudo-remake of that movie, Rumor Has It, where a male sleeps with women from 2 or more generations of a family.   

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That is definitely not my thing, but the porn industry has a whole category set aside for that exact fantasy: step parents sleeping with both their new spouse and the step kid. And I don’t want to be anyone’s fantasy… or at least not that particular fantasy.

Besides, a man with grown kids (yes, kids, plural) isn’t going to want to start all over, and I do want kids eventually. Preferably sooner rather than later. I don’t want to waste my time dating a guy that obviously doesn’t have any long term potential because he’s done with his kid raising days.

So the guy from DC is out.

The YouTube Gamer guy is out, too. He wasn’t keeping the conversation going, and, like I said, I’m done chasing. In case you’re curious, here’s a YouTube video from his channel. He’s the one who was apparently running around in his underwear for the party…

Although he did impress me by asking for clarification on a question game question. It was a standard question: If you could go back in time to witness an historical event, when would you visit? He wanted to know if he was coming back, if he could bring things with him (although I’m uncertain if he meant to the past or from it), and how he was going to travel in the first place. Nice questions, doubly nice because most people either dismiss the question or give a pretty stock answer, like they’d want to meet Jesus or see the particular decisive moment in a war or something.

He decided on the Cambrian explosion or somesuch. To “meet his ancestors…”

And thus the sarcasm killed the conversation.

Because I assume he was being sarcastic.

I never understand why people don’t think to ask a question in return. It’s like I have to explain the rules to a game that seems to be logically designed to create interesting conversation between parties who don’t really know each other. I think I commented back that the conversation would be rather dull given the time period he chose, but hey it’s his choice…

I haven’t heard back. Shame. I do have a weak spot for gamers. And, as I explained to the Boy in the Final goodbye email, I’m the type of girl who will make you a sandwich while you’re in the middle of a game (though for the Boy, it wasn’t sandwiches, he would ask me to bake cookies while he was gaming and then yell at me for eating the cookie dough…prick).

Mostly because, while I like the games (especially those with a storyline), I do tend to get a bit motion sick while gaming. Thus, I’m more of a gaming voyeur.

When Virtual Reality becomes mainstream, and I can move my head to move the character, then I’ll be okay.

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Until then, I get so into (as in actually inside of) the game, that I try to move my head to move the character, and then the delay while my brain tells my hands what to do creates a very intense nausea that I never quite get past while gaming.

Maybe it’s an Aspie thing. The guy who lived an hour away and freaked out when I tried to convince him to meet had some distinct Aspie traits and he said he couldn’t watch 3D movies… I struggle, but I can do it. I usually end up with a headache, but then, most movies feel 3D to me anyway. I wasn’t kidding about feeling inside of the game… It’s like watching as one of the characters. It’s really neat. I had a boyfriend, the super scary one with the sword, who told me one time that watching a movie with me was fun because he felt like I would throw him into the movies and he could watch them from the inside out, too.

Maybe that’s my superpower…

Back to the point.

YouTube Gamer guy is out. I haven’t deleted or unmatched him because he’s cute. And he did impress me by asking for clarification. We’ll see if he comes back. Not holding my breath though.

 

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So that’s two down.

When last we spoke, there was a third guy: The Bartender. He’s got me spinning a bit.

The pictures he’s sent me (not dick pics, but actual pictures of himself smiling) have been not as…photogenic as the ones he’s posted on Tinder. But, his smile in them is genuine, and he tells me that talking to me is what has him all smiles lately.

He has a really great smile behind that crazy beard of his. I’m not a fan of beards usually, but he’s enticed me with his words enough that I’m willing to give it a shot. Besides, several of the guys I’ve dated lately have had beards. They seem to be in fashion, and I don’t see that changing any time soon, so I guess I need to get used to it. Besides, it’s such a trivial thing, really.

Yeah, I know, I was upset at how small Mr. Nice Guy’s ears were, so there’s got to be something special about the Bartender in order to get him to make me change my stance on beards. Especially because he had his in a rubber band for work the other day… That is really not cute, but I kept seeing the honest smile in his eyes and could look right past it.

That’s a big freaking deal, ladies and gentlemen.

On the other hand, if Khal Drogo can pull it off…

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He keeps telling me how badly he wants to see me, and not for just physical reasons either… although we discussed kissing, and as we have only been communicating via text, we’ve agreed that on our first date, we’re going to kiss before we even speak.

That’s unbelievably sexy!

Now if the rest of my life would just stop imploding, that would be really awesome. After last week’s ailment, there was the announcement by the guy who owns the house that we have until March 1st to be out because he’s sold the house… And then he told me separately that he was going to start using my room to store his stuff, so even though I’m paid through the 20th, he’s doing everything he can to make me uncomfortable so that I’ll be out within the next 2 weeks.

Which makes me feel very unstable and not safe, which leads to the emotional shutdown. I’m fighting it but I’m losing a little bit. And I have to balance work, too, which I’m in trouble because of the amount of absences I’ve had…

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And in the middle of it all I have to find a new place to live, and come up with a down payment, and still pay my car payments, and now I’m adding a potential relationship. While the relationship is positive, we also know how things ended up with the Boy when I needed to lean on him because he was the only positive…

Gotta take the good with the bad, I suppose, but it would be really nice if the bad would stop pouring down on me in such torrential waves.

 

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