So it’s been about 10 days since my last post, and there’s a pretty obvious reason for my absence: I finally got to start on the new job!! I wasn’t even allowed in the building until HR had completed my paperwork, which meant that I couldn’t be on campus until I finally signed my papers around 2:30 pm on Thursday of last week.
On the plus side, that meant that I missed all the terribly boring inservice meetings that they make teachers go through, and this year there were 2 full weeks of them!
On the down side, I missed almost 2 full weeks of meetings and therefor almost 2 full weeks of work! They altered my contract accordingly… meaning that my contract is worth around $2K less than it should be.
Continue reading The Whirlwind continues…
So, as I mentioned in my last post, I know it’s not confirmed that I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but I’ve done the research, and I’ve taken the handy dandy online tests, and suffice it to say, I’m convinced. I probably need to go to someone who’s trained in diagnosis, but I can see the signs, and frankly, I feel better just knowing that it’s possible.
The irony is that I only ever started looking it up because my mother was convinced that the Boy was an Aspie. After doing the research, I’m not as convinced he is, but I feel convinced I definitely am. For one thing, he gets sarcasm way better than I do, and makes fun of me when I take things too literally. It’s why I had so much trouble with his guy friends who exist in a world of sarcasm.
Obviously I get simile and metaphor and whatnot… I just have to be in a place for such things, like when I’m writing and I know I don’t mean it literally, or when I’m watching a comedy show and am prepared for sarcasm and slapstick humor.
Although… my need to take things literally would explain why I am so uncomfortable watching things where the characters should feel embarrassment, yet don’t. I understand on a literal level how wrong whatever they are doing is, and it bothers me. Hence movies like Meet the Fockers and anything with Will Ferrell in it is really unpleasant for me. Continue reading I think I am an Aspie
Sometimes I get really focused on certain pieces of my life. It’s one of the things I’ve always struggled with, but never understood why it was so difficult for me and not for other people. When I was younger, in my wild and exploratory college days, I tried to explain it to people: it’s like there are 2 of me, the me that handles the mundane, real world, and the me that deals with spiritual stuff. Most of the time, I feel like my spiritual self gets in the way of my real self.
I don’t manage time well. Or things like money. They aren’t real to me. Time can’t exist because we perceive it differently depending on the situation, or on the people with whom we surround ourselves. It can be fleeting, or it can fly, or it can drag on. It’s completely subjective and therefor must not be real. Continue reading Time… What to do with it?
Yesterday I hinted at the fact that I’m learning a lot about myself and about how I think. And even as I write this all down I’m still arguing with myself about whether or not I’m right or if I’m just trying to force myself into a box, a label, a way to understand the things that I struggle with. But I do feel broken, and I think I’ve figured out what’s wrong. Continue reading It’s okay to be broken.
It’s been nearly a week since my last post, and I’ve started, oh… maybe five other posts that I haven’t finished, or didn’t feel like they were quite right and so I abandoned them. I started those others periodically throughout the last couple of weeks, but, as I said, for one reason or another they didn’t get finished. I had plans to work on them last week…
But life happened. Continue reading Whirlwind Days