I usually try to do these on the first of the month, but with the STAAR test and the other various dramas at work I haven’t been able to really take a moment to do much reflection. Since we’re on a new test schedule to finish out the STAAR test for the other subjects, I have found myself in an oddly empty space of time for the next hour or so, and thus I can do my monthly review.
So without further ado, here’s the month of April, as I remember it:
Firstly, I have to apologize because there’s been an obvious lack of posting. April had only about a fifth as many posts as March. Part of that was because February and March were when I opted to do that 30 day challenge, which kept me on task. Mostly, though, there just hasn’t been anything going on in my life.
The last day of March and first day of April were the state test for my kiddos in my subject. This meant (in theory) that the stress was off from work. And apparently, I’ve taken a break from life as a result.
I was even late with last month’s recap as well due to my well earned rest after the test.
Unfortunately, without the test, and the push to get everything in order for that, there’s been a feeling of me floundering at work. Since I have no idea what was taught for the first part of the school year, and we were all over the place since I had been there, there was no easily determined place to pick up and move forward. Thus, I’ve been kind of flying by the seat of my pants with old lessons that fit here and there, but are not cohesive, and in some cases they don’t even seem comprehensible! I’m trying, but the month of April felt like I was drowning.
It even affected my heart negatively, putting me back in the hospital for a bit and forcing me to realize that I am losing to the depression.
My social life has been relatively non-existent. Almost everyone I know was either out of town or super wrapped up in their own relationships (both good and bad). Even the Boy was dealing with both scenarios (out of town for work and wrapped up in his own relationship drama).
So, most of my social interaction has been with pixelated people. I finally broke down and got the Sims 4, and that has taken up a great deal of my time, as I can make their lives into the perfect little worlds I’d like to live in.
Not healthy, I’m sure, and when I finally go to my next appointment with my new therapist (since I’m actively trying to deal with being strong enough to admit my weak), I’m sure we’ll have some interesting discussions about it.
So while the beginning of the year had me balancing my “perfect” job and what appeared to be a solid potential romantic relationship with Superman and my newly communicative friendship with the Boy, April has me trying not to give into the depression caused by the fact that none of those things were as real as I thought they were.
The exception being the Boy. So let’s hear it for the Boy! (And cue that song from Footloose…)
And no, I’m not getting my hopes up that this is anything more than a friendship, before people start fussing at me because that song suggests something more than that.
But we do seem to be communicating better.
There have been ups and downs, but I feel like the ups have been higher and the downs have been less (not less dramatic, just less of them). Of course, that could all be in my head. He and I don’t ever seem to agree on things like that. Hence the very problem with our relationship from the jump.
May is my birthday month, and the end of the school year, so we’ll see how things progress in my life in general from here on out. I’m keeping my eyes wide open for signs of what’s to come, and trying to take steps to get me in a more positive place, physically, mentally, and financially. Only time will tell…
Anyway, here are the top Posts and top Viewing Countries of April:
Top 3 countries that read my blog:
*Side note: I don’t include views to just the Home Page or my About page.
**Not sure why, but my review of Jupiter Ascending has been wickedly popular in Hungary, skewing the data, it would seem.