Monthly Archives: April 2015

A Moment to Blow Off Steam.

Things have been strange in my world the last few weeks. Basically the whole month of April has been…off. Today I need a moment to vent about my teacher life as that is the big problem right now.

So, I was out for a bit because my heart/blood pressure started acting up; I’ve mentioned this already in an earlier post. But, apparently some major changes were made while I was out, and no one has felt the need to explain it to me. This means I’ve been doing things very wrong for a little while now, and it means the behavior of the Viking across the hall has become unbearable! Continue reading A Moment to Blow Off Steam.

What Does it Mean to Be Strong?

Recently I admitted that I feel myself slipping. It’s always hard to admit something like that, or at least it is for me. I grew up watching my mother silently struggle to keep “all the balls in the air,” as she says. She managed the bills and still made sure that we had all the things that we not only needed but wanted as well. She managed working for my grandmother’s company while going to school and still being involved in all of our events…well most of them.

Even now, when she should be thinking about retirement, she went back to school to get her Master’s degree, while working two jobs, and somewhat recently added a Nerium partnership to her list of responsibilities. Plus, with the death of my grandfather, September before last, she’s also helping out with my grandmother’s ranch: taking care of cows and horses and exotic birds.

That’s a good many balls she’s got to keep in the air.

toomanyballs Continue reading What Does it Mean to Be Strong?

What To Do When the Emptiness Sets In

This past week has been hard. For one thing, I can see all the positive things I’ve accomplished begin to slip. Yes, I’m in a more stable place, but having finished the STAAR test, and the kids beginning to push back because they don’t think they should have to learn anything else now, and the stress of making the decision of where I’ll teach next year (or if I will teach at all), and the inherent loneliness of not having all the beautiful things I kind of thought would be there given the wonderful way my new year began, all of those things have begun to weigh on me and cause me some immense distress.

For another thing, my blood pressure has become erratic again. I had a bad night with the Boy (completely my own fault… I was hormonal and overreacted to something minor), and it was just one bad thing too many. I had a panic attack a couple night’s later, and a three day headache followed by a week of sleepless nights. I’ve been having minor panic attacks on and off since last Wednesday.

Wednesday, I went to the doctor to check out what was wrong with me. My blood pressure was 182/128. He sent me to the ER, and wanted me to take an ambulance. Stubborn me, I drove myself, and the whole thing became an absolute disaster. Continue reading What To Do When the Emptiness Sets In

What Happened to the Diner?

Here’s a little insight into me, for those of you who are new, or, well, frankly just because: I like to write at a diner. I like a place where I can sit and eat really unhealthy stuff (or sometimes a salad) and write until I’m done. It needs to be a place where they aren’t going to bother me and ask me to leave, but also a place that keeps my tea filled.

I actually really like that type of place where it’s 24 hours and I don’t have to worry about how late I’m there, and if it has a smoking section, even better. Not that I smoke (anymore), but there’s a laid back feeling to a smoking section that other sections don’t have. It’s understood that smokers will sit around longer, because they need a cigarette to finish their meal… Obviously. Continue reading What Happened to the Diner?