When I began thinking about this post, I was going to write a review of Insurgent, the movie based on the book by Virginia Roth, but I noticed that I kept coming back to Four, the male love interest opposite our heroine, Tris. So why mess with a good thing, right? Any discussion of the character will have to involve discussion of the movie, so it’s a bit of a review.
But also, since I’m discussing the movie: Spoiler alert!
But gentlemen, if you’re looking to find out what women want, then go see this movie and take notes on Four.
First of all, Theo James is gorgeous! Whoever was in charge of casting nailed it with this guy. He’s got the smoldering eye thing down pat, which is necessary for the character’s inherently brooding nature. He’s got the physique and that wonderful facial structure working for him. Even though the character rarely smiles, the actor has a great smile, and I hope they change the ending to be different from the books so we can actually see this guy smile as Four… but that’s a heavy duty spoiler and more than I want to get into for today.
Basically, the guy was born dreamy, but not everyone can be so lucky. The wonderful thing about the character is that his sense of style attributes to the dreaminess of him. If you’ve read the books (or seen the first movie, Divergent), then you’ll know that his character started out in the Abnegation faction, the selfless faction that basically views Pride as the source of all evil and therefor they don’t really care how they look. They don’t even look in the mirror that often, except on haircut day.
Four probably has no idea how sexy he is, which is part of what makes him sexy, but I could write a whole post on that theory, and I don’t really want to do that.
As a former member of Abnegation, there’s something inherently tidy about him, the short hair style, and tidy choices of outfits. Even when they hide in Amity, the friendly hippie faction that produces the food for the people, he manages to pick an outfit that looks slightly crisp and tidy…or as tidy as Amity wear can be.
If memory serves, there was a scene in the book that dealt with that very thing where a comment was made about trying to look less put together when the Erudite aligned Dauntless show up looking for them, but that might very well have been him talking to another character, like his father.
Either way, in the movie, he has a very clean cut appearance about him…to a point.
He does still have those tattoos, and oh how glorious they are! Here’s where the bad boy image comes in. Since he joined Dauntless, the faction of bravery but also a bit of recklessness, he didn’t go all out with the piercings or the crazy hair, but he did embrace the tattoos. In the book, and very briefly in the first movie, it discusses why he chose to have all five factions tattooed on him: he wants to have all the virtues of each faction (and how sexy is that?!). I have to admit, there is nothing that screams macho bad boy like a guy with lots of tats. Especially when they go down the spine like that; it’s my understanding that that hurts. A lot.
Add to that his slightly stubbly face, and you have the perfect mix of the good guy and the bad boy. He embodies both, and every girl wants a little bit of both. A bad boy tends to have more confidence and be just the tiniest bit more dominant than the “nice guy,” but the nice guy has staying power, and we know that. The “bad boy” will excite us, but we’ll never truly choose the bad boy over the nice guy, not for the long term. Not if we’re looking for something real. Or not unless he proves that he can be good/nice for us.
But it’s not just his look, although that definitely helps… What really makes Four perfect is his personality and the fact that his personality matches that bad boy/nice guy dichotomy that he has working for him physically.
The man knows his way around a gun, and knives (remember the first movie/book?), which screams dangerous and hearkens back to that desire for a bad boy, but it’s that he uses those dangerous tools to protect those that are important to him, in this case Tris, that makes him totally swoon-worthy. He puts her first. Always. He is concerned about her and her well-being in almost every situation…or at least at this point in the series, the final book shows him kind of losing his way there a time or three…of course it only makes sense since that is part of the formula for a love story.
But again, those are some hefty spoilers and we’re talking about Insurgent right now…
There are three particular scenes in which he makes his love for her known, and says the perfect thing. In fact, it’s exactly what I’ve been waiting to hear from any of the guys in my life…
The picture comes from the book, but he says it in the movie, at the very beginning. If you remember, in the previous movie/book, there was a war caused by Erudite, the science and intelligence faction, to destroy Abnegation and take over the government. This war caused the death of Tris’s parents and forced Tris, her brother Caleb, Four, and a handful of other people to go on the lam to hide. When Four tells her that they’re okay, in spite of everything else falling apart, it’s the most reassuring and comforting thing ever. And the most panty-dropping thing he could have said, excuse my crudeness.
See, there’s this misconception that girls want a man who will fix all of their problems. This is not the case. We don’t want a man who will just come in and fix things for us…or, well, most of us don’t…what we really want is a man who will be supportive of us while we work out our own problems. When the world seems to be falling down around us, and the bills are stacking up, or the job is frustrating, or there’s a death in the family, or any other major tragedy strikes, what we really want is someone to be there with us.
We want a united front with our lover, a partner in crime as it were, to be there for us to lean on in our time of need.
What’s more, we want our lover to be able to lean on us as well to show that we are truly a unit.
Four does that in the quote. So, gentlemen, want your girlfriend or lover to feel safe and not go elsewhere? Next time she’s having a crisis tell her, “We’re okay. Nothing else is alright, but we are.”
She’ll love you even more for it.
The next time Four says the perfect words is when he tells her she’s worth it. This is a recurring theme that I bring up on here. I’m waiting for a man to tell me that I’m worth something to him, and Four does it without her prompting…well not too much anyway.
Erudite is asking for Tris to turn herself in, and she points out to him that there are so many people that could die if she doesn’t go, and that she’s not worth it. Without blinking, he says:
“You’re worth it to me.”
Every girl wants to hear that she’s important to the man in her life. Unfortunately, too many guys seem to think that they make it known without saying it. Gentlemen, just like you don’t understand our signals, sometimes we don’t understand yours either.
Just say the words.
The third time is near the end. Tris is trying to open up the box with the message (so very different from the book here, but an amazing choice for the movie), and the enemy is on the way, but she is determined to complete her task. She looks at him and asks if he trusts her. His response is flawless, and romantic:
“With my life, apparently.”
And at that moment, there wasn’t a dry seat in the theater…
Remember earlier when I said women want a man that is willing to lean on us as well? This is the epitome of that. Trust is one of the most important components of any relationship, and when he tells her that he trusts her, even when every instinct he has is telling him they have to leave right that instant, it is as important as him saying he loves her.
Maybe more so.
The Boy asked me once what my deal breakers were; the very first thing out of my mouth was “don’t lie to me.” Trust is very hard to earn, but once it has been earned, it only takes a single screw up to destroy it.
Women Everyone knows this. So to tell a person you trust them is to tell them that you value them, their opinion, their love. It’s another form of saying they’re worth it.
And as men are often telling women they aren’t logical or sensible, telling a woman that you trust her, in spite of that, is very reassuring. It goes a long way to earning her trust in return, if you don’t already have it.
Don’t believe me?
Go watch the movie for yourself. Gentlemen, take your girl, or a female friend who’s opinion you trust. After the movie, ask her opinion of Four. You’ll find that I’m right: He’s the perfect example of a guy. He balances hard and soft, tough and sensitive, bad boy and nice guy, and he says the right things in most situations.
And he’s easy on the eyes…
Side note, this movie was definitely better than the first, but I think it’s because it’s finally come into it’s own as a separate entity from the book. It took me a while to decide I liked it because it was so very different from the book, but once I separated them in my mind, this movie is my favorite so far this year. Definitely go see it!