Posted in Advice, Dating

The Beauty of a Klingon Female.

In case I haven’t mentioned it, or in case you weren’t paying attention when I did mention it, it’s Spring Break… albeit we’re coming to the end of the break, which is a bit sad for me as I haven’t done anything productive for my real job. What I have done is watch an abundance of television, particularly Doctor Who and, you guessed it, Star Trek (specifically the Next Generation). I’m finding that I’m being inspired by the alien races encountered on these two shows. Most notably the Klingon women!

Klingon women are open about their sexuality. There is no fear or doubt. If they want to mate with a man, they are very open about it! And what’s more, the Klingon men wouldn’t have it any other way.


In an episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, where Commander Riker becomes a member of a Klingon crew, at dinner, one of the Klingon females makes a statement that tells us just exactly what she wants. Let’s set the scene: Commander William Riker (played by Jonathan Frakes) is eating with a group of Klingons. They’ve teased him mercilessly, but he’s given as good as he gets in order to show he isn’t weak. Towards the end of the scene, one of the women says she “will have him,” and then again says that she “may come back for [him].” Riker has to ask (wide-eyed) if she’s serious. End scene amidst throngs of laughter from the Klingon males.

Maybe I should have been a Klingon.

I’ve mentioned it before that I feel like the communication between men and women is strange–strained even. There’s this belief that a woman should be the object pursued instead of the pursuer. Or at least that’s the way it was prior to the woman’s power movement of the 80’s, with the huge shoulder pads and women really entering the boardroom as more than secretaries.


Women became powerful, but the relationship sector didn’t get the memo.

So when I tell a guy who is particularly macho that I want a kiss, he doesn’t know how to react. Or if I like the way a guy makes me feel, and I try to initiate some more time together, he gets all weird about it and acts like I’m asking for a ring.

Liking what you do to me is not the same as wanting to keep you on a leash forever, gentlemen.


Believe it or not, not all women are looking for the happily ever after, with the white wedding and the house with the picket fence and the 2.5 kids. That’s an old, outdated way of looking at things.

Some women are just looking for a guy who knows how to use his parts, and likes to use them frequently…with her.

And there’s nothing wrong with that scenario, except that for some reason, a sexually liberated, outspoken female is considered some sort of trickster.


“Yeah she likes the sex now, but keep her around too long, and next thing you know you’ll be married, bro.”

That’s not really how it works for every woman.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some girls out there that that’s what they are looking for. There are even some girls who are willing to put out with just that in mind. And then there are those who like to have fun while they find the guy who will keep them happy forever. You know, those girls that haven’t confused sex with love.

Like a Klingon female.

Klingon women embrace their sexuality. They flaunt their, umm, assets with pride–just look at their uniforms! The Klingon female uniforms show off their breasts, and are form fitting to show off the strength and shape of their body.


It’s functional, but still expresses their femininity. Their femininity and sexuality aren’t considered a hindrance. A strong Klingon woman in power isn’t called a bitch, she’s honored for being hard core enough to get where she is, like any other Klingon in power.

This outfit wouldn’t be taken seriously anywhere in the business world. And we all know that those women who wear the form fitting suits with the above the knee skirts are considered slutty. The rumors go that they use their bodies to get ahead in their career, even if that isn’t really the case. What if they are very intelligent and just happen to be proud of their bodies, too? Who would want to spend all those hours in the gym not to show off their body?

Nobody questions men’s fashion choices, unless it’s a matter of too casual for the job. In recent years this very issue has been brought up on the red carpet. People ask actresses about who they’re wearing instead of the more important questions about their acting. Why can’t it be both?

We’ve swung to the opposite extreme, I think, where women are almost chastised for trying to look good. You can’t be a feminist and wear make-up, are you crazy? And don’t you dare try to show off your breasts! Unless you’re famous.


Speaking of breasts…

In the episode in question, one of the male Klingon officers asks Riker if the food was to his liking, because if it was too intense, maybe one of the females could breast feed him…


Can you imagine this conversation happening anywhere on Earth? There’d be a sexual harassment suit in the works so fast that no one would even be able to finish their meal. But the Klingon women laughed.

Not only did they laugh, but they made sexy, googly eyes at him, as they tried to decide if such a thing would be pleasurable or not.

And cue the second sexual harassment suit…


So it’s not a perfect system, but man it sure would be nice to be able to be myself in a dating situation without being afraid that I’ll either be labeled a slut or a walking trap.



High school teacher by day, relationship/romance blogger by night. Help me add author to the list. Vote for my book idea here:

4 thoughts on “The Beauty of a Klingon Female.

  1. But we’re all told that even if you say “yes”, it may not actually mean yes.

    E.g. if you’re drunk.

    If a man you don’t like comes on to you, he’s a creep or a perv. If he’s forceful, he’s a sex predator and sex pest, probably a rapist.

    Did all the men you come on to want to have sex with you? I doubt all of them did. And many who did want it, wanted *sex*, not really you, you were just a necessary adjunct to the process. Which rather cheapens the whole social bond to a physical procedure.

    But did any of those who did not welcome your advances have cause to call YOU a creep, a perv?


    So we have to find another way to say no that

    a) doesn’t “make out we’re gay”
    b) doesn’t make you feel insulted
    c) doesn’t make us look emasculated
    d) ends the process and prevents it occurring again

    acting shocked is about the best option, really.

    Because despite the idea you have, men aren’t always wanting sex. At least no more than women. And, like with women, that desire varies widely.

    It’s just that since the 80’s womens’ power movement, you have much more lattitude (not enough, I would freely admit) to express your sex drive than before, but men haven’t had anything like that.

    MRA is frequently taken as “cover” for myscogyny and therefore not socially effective in getting men to be freer to be not interested in sex with a women *merely because they do not feel like it*.

    MGTOW is the only notable response, but it rather dumps the options into “no sex, can’t be bothered”, an extra *single* option of sexual expression expanding the breadth of options but not an expansion in the range that can be selected from by any meaningful extent.

    A man should be able to say no without a women wanting to know why or getting upset.

    A man should be as free from sexual harassment as any woman.

    But society doesn’t let that happen. And the limitations of society’s acceptable mores is laid here as the fault of men, because YOU want us to be as sexually active as you do.

    But you don’t seem to want equal right to say no thank you.

    1. I think you may have taken some things out of context. I most certainly do feel like guys have a right to say no thank you, and I also think it’s acceptable if a guy is looking for just sex even if he has plans to use me for that ends, as long as that is understood up front. What I take umbrage at is that me having that view, particularly about sex just to have sex and not have the social bond or however you put it, tends to misconstrued as me being a slut, whereas there are plenty of men who will lie to get the sex, and that is the acceptable way of doing things? Why does me wanting to be honest about what I want make me a slut, but them lying to trick a woman into sex make her the bad guy when she wants a serious commitment?

      It isn’t just men who feel this way, but women, too. Women will tell other women who are sexually dominant that they don’t value themselves, or they’ve cheapened their self worth by getting what they want from a man. Women will tell each other to hold out for a relationship, thus blurring the lines between sex and love.

      All I’m saying is be up front about what it is you want. That isn’t me saying that men don’t have a right to say no, nor is it laying the fault solely at the feet of men.

      And the men who I came on to that I mention in here, the ones which you mistakenly took as being uninterested in me and therefor should have the right to call me a perv for unwanted advances, were men that I was dating, who had shown interest in me and therefor my advances weren’t exactly unwanted. The man who was macho and didn’t know how to react when I asked him to kiss me had issues because his machismo was at risk because I took the more forward approach.

      Meanwhile, the other men mentioned in this post are ones that would assume that I wanted sex from them every time I was trying to hang out with them, or that my wanting sex meant that I was trying to trap them into a relationship. Again, my point was that I didn’t like being treated poorly because assumptions were made that didn’t match my thought process. No where did I say that they didn’t have a right to say no, only that they shouldn’t assume they knew what my intentions were and thus treat me poorly based on their misguided assumptions.

      Frankly, you attacking my view because you read into it that I was saying that men should be as sexual active as I want them to be, the insinuation being that they have no choice in the matter, is part of the problem I was addressing. Instead of understanding that I think women should have the right to be the pursuers in romantic situations, you slammed me for taking away men’s rights, which I in no way said! I never even hinted at that possibility! How is giving women an equal footing by allowing us to be more vocal about what we want sexually taking away the rights of men?

      Question: What is MRA and MGTOW?

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