Day 10: Proudest Moment

This one is a toughy.

trashA lot of my proud moments are tainted by something and therefor get dumped into the “I don’t want to remember this” file. AKA the mental trash heap.

The ones that actual stick are usually me being proud of other people because I can see them making the decisions that I know are good for them, often because they listened to me.

This usually deals with my students. There are several in what will always be my favorite class that I occasionally check on Facebook to see how they are, and I’m proud of them quite frequently.

I don’t think that counts for this post, though.

As for things of which I am proud that I, myself, have done? There’s only one, and it’s one that I repeat occasionally:

I am most proud when I stick to my guns and follow my destiny.

stick-to-your-guns-quote-1

The most recent example is when I quit my old job to look for a new one. It made life unbelievably difficult for a long time, and I’m still just beginning to get my life back in order, but it was the right thing to do. I had ignored my instincts and gone back to a bad situation (bad for me, maybe not bad for others), and when the signs showed up to prove to me that I could get out of it without too much trouble (like being asked after the year had begun to resign my contract), I knew Someone was looking out for me.

Now I have a job at a school I really enjoy, with students who want to learn, my paycheck is adequate (not great, but it does the job), and for the first time in nearly 10 years, I have a checking account again. I was frightened and unsure of what I was meant to do, and it all began to fall into place as soon as I opened myself up to the universe.

universe

This goes back to the whole #GetGutsy idea from an online friend of mine, Jessica Lawlor. I knew I was unhappy, and I made a drastic change, in spite of the fact that it was terribly scary. I stuck to my guns and didn’t lower my standards of what I wanted out of life for anyone.

Like I said, I’m not done yet–I still need to get back into a place of my own, and I still need to get all my stuff out of storage–but I am getting there, and it’s beginning to look like I’ll be better off than I was before, even though I’m making less money.

It may seem like a little thing, but since I do have a problem with finishing things sometimes, this is kind of a big deal for me at the moment.

determination

Now if only I can stick to my guns more often in my relationships…

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