We’ve discussed it before, but it doesn’t hurt to say it again: I deal in extremes. I am a dramatic person and I tend to run either really hot or really really cold. There is no in-between.
On Friday (and most of Saturday) I was convinced that I was going to have a repeat of last year, when my Valentine’s Day was cancelled because of a silly, irrelevant fight. I think I’m justified in my misconception: I had come up with what I thought was the best, most laid back Valentine’s date idea ever, and it was rejected without any word on a replacement date.
I understood the reasoning, but without a definite set plan for Valentine’s Day, I was afraid that I was headed for a repeat of last year, where my date was cancelled over something ridiculous. Since Superman and I had fought before, even though we’d made up, I was really nervous about how it would go.
My original date idea was to have a binge watching session while we ate the cupcakes that he ordered for me (that he ordered before our fight, several weeks before the actual day, even though we’d only been casually dating for a couple of weeks… I take that as a very good sign).
I figured we could make the pillow fort we never got around to making on New Year’s Eve. Since Superman is very behind on Doctor Who, and we both wanted to do something casual, this seemed like a perfect date. But, as I’m still staying with a friend, and his place just isn’t an option at the moment, it would require us to get a hotel room.
I had the whole Season 8 of Doctor Who ready to go. It was the other part of his Valentine’s Day gift, with the heart being the first part. Actually, I had to go quite a bit out of my way to get the Doctor Who episodes… getting stuck in traffic for 3 hours or more to get there and back again.
So when I got home and saw I’d missed a message from him asking if I wanted to reschedule for the next day (to avoid the crowds), I was more than a little disappointed. It felt like my fears were being confirmed, and while he agreed to come get me, I couldn’t help but be a little sad.
He picked me up and he looked so very handsome! I like that he always puts effort into his outfit. His suit coat (or is it a blazer? Men’s fashion confuses me a bit…it’s too simple) was embellished with designs stitched in silver. With jeans it was casual, but still very dapper.
He has this way of melding old school gentlemanly charm with modern sensuality. It shines through in the way he dresses, and the way he holds the door for me, or helps me out of the car. He even one day tried to help me take my coat off, but it was when we were actually discussing our argument, so I was too upset to let him do it, but in hindsight, the effort makes me smile.
I like that he’s always trying to please me, and impress me, even though he doesn’t have to. Since we hadn’t had any official plans, we had to find a place for dinner, and he absolutely demanded that we go to a place I wanted to go. I am enough of a people pleaser that it was hard for me to choose. I am always afraid to make the wrong decision. Luckily, there was a little sushi place that was to both our liking…
While we searched for a place, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had convinced him to come out and see me against his will, but by the time the appetizers arrived, I was no longer worried about whether or not he wanted to be with me for Valentine’s Day. He had me smiling and laughing and generally enjoying myself in no time.
And that is no small feat!
When I get a case of the doldrums, sometimes it is very difficult to shake them off, but he managed it. He managed to make me forget my worries, and think of him and only him. By the time he took me home, I wanted nothing more than to have him stay with me. I didn’t want the night to end.
I was able to talk him into coming in and watching a movie with me. Turns out that was a good thing, because he was so exhausted he fell asleep while we were watching it… But it was nice snuggling on the couch and just being in the same space. I like that when I get out of my head, I’m totally relaxed and at ease with him.
I’d be lying if I didn’t say anything about the impromptu snogging session which happened, but, as he has pointed out to me before, we tend to lose our heads sometimes…
There is an interesting chemistry there… when I stop over-thinking things. Sometimes when he touches me, I feel like I’m going to spontaneously combust, but in a good way. And looking into his eyes makes me melt.
As he was walking me to the door (such a gentleman), and as I was talking him into coming in for a movie, the anticipation and the desire I felt washed over and through me like a tidal wave. I could feel my heart racing and even breathing became a task I had to think about. I think I was even shaking with the need to have him near me and to feel his lips on mine. I wanted to feel the brush of his fingertips on my thigh, a thing he does quite frequently when I’m in a skirt and we’re sitting near enough to touch.
It’s so gentle, the way he touches me, and yet his kisses are the hungry kisses of a passion so hot it could melt the sun. It is in those moments when he kisses me that I know his nickname is well chosen. He is both a mild-mannered gentleman, like Clark Kent, and the strong, bold, passionate Superman. It’s a strange dichotomy that piques my interest more and more every time I see him.
One day, I hope to experience it when he lets that passion free. And if things keep progressing as they have been, I think I just might. I must admit, his extreme sense of control is very sexy, and the tiniest bit intimidating.
Our next official date isn’t for a few weeks, but I’m sure we’ll see each other before then.
I think I have to accept that he isn’t going away any time soon, no matter what my inner fears tell me. At some point yesterday, I think I finally unpacked that bit of baggage that made me doubt his intentions. I think things will be smooth sailing from here on out. At least I hope so…
On one of our dates (prior to The Fight), this song came on the radio, and he said, oh so quietly, that it was perfect. I hadn’t heard the song before (I don’t often listen to the radio), and I just found it again. I heard it and in that instant it sparked a memory of that night, one of many such perfect nights we’ve already had. Here’s to many more!