Posted in Dating

The Evidence.

The last few conversations with Superman have been bittersweet. As long as we’re not specifically discussing our relationship, but just having a general conversation, things are awesome. But if I do anything that he feels is me acting like things are the same as they were, he clams up. As I talk to my friends about what has been going on, several of them come to the same conclusion: I’m being lied to and played.

I like to think that I know better, but let’s look at the evidence to see. I’ll leave it to the Citizens of the Interwebs to determine if he is a good guy or a player. Since he won’t talk to me about what’s going on, or not tell me what’s going on inside his head, anyway, I have no idea what happened. All I know is what I feel, what I’ve done, and what little he’s told me.

So if we start back to when the initial argument which made him decide things were bad, it was the same day he started working out with his trainer. From Facebook, I see that it was a female trainer. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, but if he’s spending a lot of time getting sweaty with another female… well it would make sense he would have little need of me, right?


Plus it seems that he’s training with the chick he took with him to the event last weekend.

Since then, he’s tagged her in posts about dinner, his sister asked when she was going to meet this girl, and now there are pics with him very focused on her, totally oblivious to the camera…last night. So two Saturdays in a row, he’s been unavailable to see me on Sunday because he was out late with her the night before.

Yet, he’s upset at me for jumping to conclusions…

  • He’s never tagged me in anything.
  • When I pointed that out, he told me that it was because he wanted to keep our time special and private, because he didn’t want to share me…


  • He won’t explain to me what it is that I did that made him flip so quickly.
  • He won’t agree to see me face to face.

Yet when I talk to him he gives me mixed messages, telling me he can’t forgive me because I jumped to conclusions and called him a lying scumbag, but then talking flirty to me while telling me we can be friends but nothing more. He tells me he is trying to convince himself the feelings he felt for me were wrong, and trying not to feel them.

Lost and Confused Signpost

I keep giving him the benefit of the doubt because I think he deserves the title of Superman. I think he is nice and sweet and caring and not the type of guy to lie and play games. I don’t think he has it in him…

But the evidence is stacking up to prove me wrong.

If he is really just friends with this chick, then why does his sister think that she’s his new girlfriend? Why does she get to go and hang out with his friends, but they know nothing about me? Why are there pictures of them together in what looks like relationship situations, and there’s never been any proof that he and I were together? Other than his friend knows we spent New Year’s together.

Or is it possible she’s the friend giving him advice? If so, is it possible that she’s giving him bad advice because she wants to be with him?


The Boy stopped me at several points when I was giving him details about what had happened. He stopped me to ask me how did I know that he wasn’t seeing someone else? How did I know that he was as good as he seemed?

The only response is that it doesn’t feel like he’s lying to me. But I can’t deny the evidence.

I can’t look at how he reacted to what I thought was a minor misunderstanding and not think that he has been trying to get rid of me because he’d found someone else, or because I was the Side Chick and he was afraid I’d gotten Main Chick feelings.

side chick

I can’t deny that his actions have been contradictory and uncaring and intentionally hurtful.

I can’t deny that I may have been wrong when I thought he was a good guy worthy of the name Superman.

I deserve better than this. I deserve an explanation. I deserve to be treated like a person instead of like I’m just an annoyance. I deserve to be more than just the Side Chick.




High school teacher by day, relationship/romance blogger by night. Help me add author to the list. Vote for my book idea here:

6 thoughts on “The Evidence.

  1. Only you can decide what’s right for you. I don’t want to muddle up your already overworked brain with another opinion. However I will ask how does this guy make you feel? Is the way he makes you feel something you want?

    1. He makes me feel really really amazing. This just seemed to come out of nowhere and yes, it did send my brain into overdrive trying to figure out just exactly what happened.

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