I started the new year hot and heavy with more postings in a week than I have ever done before. It’s been fun, actually writing and knowing that people were paying attention to what I have to say. This week, however, I’ve been a little MIA. Some of you may remember that I have been taking a little break from teaching. I’ve been struggling with my place in the world. I had lost faith in myself.
I lost faith in myself in a lot of areas, but especially in teaching.
I had lost faith so much, I was thinking about giving up. I was also thinking about teaching from home. I think that is still a big part of the master plan, but for the moment, I just need a real job again. The tutoring has been nice, I like my kiddos, but it’s also been a hassle as I don’t live in the same area anymore, and I haven’t moved my tutoring to my new area… partially because I’m in a smaller area.
Yesterday, I interviewed at a new school. It’s a smaller school, more inline with my first job, the school that I first talked about in this blog so very long ago. The interview went well. I was given a tour of the school, and shown the classroom that would be mine, if I got the job. I feel like it’s a good fit, plus it’s only 9 minutes away from where I’m currently living.
And I feel in my heart that the job is mine. But anxiety fills me to the brim. I’m a shaking, nail-biting mess of nerves. The whole opportunity hinges on a reference from my last supervisor at my old school. The school where I had not planned to go back, but did anyway, because the principal called me at home to discuss the situation. The school where I left before it drove me to quitting the profession entirely. Or rather, the job that almost drove me to leaving education. Forever.
If I get a good reference, I’ll start on Tuesday at a new school. If I get a bad reference, I’ll have to start looking again, because tutoring isn’t paying the bills, and subbing just frustrates me.
Everything is up in the air there. I’m trying to hold onto my faith…
Meanwhile, in my social circle, things are great! Superman is proving to be really fantastic: emotionally supportive, intelligent, caring, sexy, good kisser, chivalrous, and so much more!
After one of my students cancelled their tutoring session (again), he took me to dinner. I beat him there; I was closer, and he had an errand to run first. When I asked the waitress if I looked alright, she asked if it was our first date. When I told her no, she told me, “then I think you’ll be fine.”
Not exactly the most enthusiastic of answers, but Superman told me I looked beautiful. He always says just the right thing.
Later, when I got emotional about a conversation I’d had with someone else, he let me cry it out and held me. This may seem like a little thing, but in my family,the girls are the strong ones. You don’t let people see you cry, if you’re a girl. So, it’s very uncomfortable when I get upset like that, uncomfortable for me. And again, he said all the right things to make me feel better.
God help me not to mess this up! I really like this one, and I don’t want to do anything to jeopardize the possibilities I see…
Keep your fingers crossed for me. Hopefully I won’t mess up what I’ve got with Superman, and hopefully, they’ll call me tomorrow and I’ll have a new job!