In my last post, I briefly mentioned that I was undergoing a revision of sorts and that it has put me in some interesting situations. Now that the proverbial cat is out of the bag, I suppose I should really let people know what’s going on in my life.
At the moment I am living in a hotel while I try to save up the money to get into an actual apartment (which isn’t as easy as it sounds when you don’t make very much). I originally didn’t want anyone to know about it, but as it is starting to feel like an adventure that just won’t end, I suppose it is important for me to quit trying to hide it from the rest of the world.
Due to a… misunderstanding… at my old apartment, I chose not to re-sign my lease for another year, and had to move out on rather short notice. Having not had the time to actually look for a new place, I moved into a hotel, and have been using Hotwire to find me a new place periodically. You know, to get the best price. Well, a few nights ago they made a mistake which landed me in a rather scary location.
It was just for one night, and I left as soon as I was up and ready to go. Believe me, I’ve been giving Hotwire no end of grief over this one. I am pretty sure they messed up my original reservation, which left me looking for a replacement hotel in a hurry. A help desk guy talked me through the process of finding a new hotel, and found me one of those surprise (because it’s such a great deal) rates which ended up being this place. Had it not been almost midnight before he gave me the information, I would have called back and immediately requested my money back.
As it was, I needed a place to stay. And I wasn’t murdered or raped, nor was my car vandalized or broken into. Under the circumstances, I call that a win.
No worries, I’m now in a much better
place part of town.
The point is I’m ok.
I did, however, have one of those WTF moments, where I thought to myself, “now how did I get myself into THIS mess?”
Simple, I was overdue for a revision, or a reinvention, or something like that.
My mom told me over the phone the other day (while I was having a small panic attack of sorts) that I need to reinvent myself every time things don’t go just so. She turned it into a really uplifting moment by telling me that I was a strong woman who was just about perfect the way I was.
Isn’t it awesome how mothers always know just what to say?
The thing is, she’s not exactly wrong. When things start to go south, I start looking for signs of what I’m doing wrong. I believe everyone has a destiny, and when things start to go wrong, I believe it’s because we’ve lost our path. Of course, sometimes it’s just that we’ve hit a rough patch, but my rough patch was turning into a cataclysmic gorge swallowing the road to my destiny.
I was miserable at work. Strike one. In fact, I was pretty sure I shouldn’t have re-signed my contract at the school where I was teaching and thus missing a lot of work due to stress related health issues, which hurt me financially. My apartment situation was obviously not great (read above), so strike two. And romantically, I’ve been having a hard time finding a guy who is really worth my time. Third strike.
So I began to reinvent myself. Or rather to change my life. I’m not really certain that I’m changing who I am as a person, but maybe.
I started tutoring, which has reminded me of why I became a teacher in the first place: that lightbulb moment when everything just clicks and a kid gets it, really gets what you’re trying to teach them. This helped me to make a really tough decision: I need to not be a teacher right now. At least not at the school I’m at, and maybe not at all. I have become a bit disenfranchised given the turmoil at my current school. It’s effected my health in a negative way, and two years in a row of this kind of unpleasantness cannot be doing me any favors.
Most of the teachers I work with feel the same way. That’s been the only thing that’s kept me from completely giving up on teaching.
So the plan at the moment is to sub for a while. Look at a few other districts. Put most of my energy into my tutoring jobs.
Plus I want to get back to writing. I’ve signed up for some cool writing things this year. I’m currently working on a scary Halloween story for a writing contest from a really cool site with pen pals! I’ve always wanted a pen pal!
I also signed up for NaNoWriMo this year. This will be my first year doing that, but I’ve got a nice little synopsis and several working character bios ready to go once November hits:
Sadie and Karrah have been friends since as long as they can remember, but they both have a secret. Karrah practices magic and uses it on a regular basis to protect her longtime friend. Sadie’s secret is secret even to her: She’s the long lost princess of a long lost island with immense powers of her own. When a quirky stranger with skin like burnt gold arrives under shady circumstances, Karrah follows some bad advice and inadvertently awakens Sadie’s power, making her a bigger target than ever. Can Karrah protect her oldest friend from the spiritual warriors coming to get her long enough for Sadie’s true protector to find her and take her home?
So there’s a lot of cool stuff going on in Lizland at the moment.
Now, if I can just get into an apartment that I like, instead of hopping from hotel to hotel…