Given the absolute failure that was the experiment with the Artist, it’s back to the drawing board. Or rather I’m going back to my Pinterest board.
Some while ago, I started a Pinterest board about what my dream guy should be. Apparently, my dream guy is Tom Hiddleston. Then again, who wouldn’t fall for that accent and his consistent kindness when dealing with fans? He’s good with kids, smart, devastatingly handsome, and obviously passionate about making the world a better place. Remember the whole #heforshe thing that went viral recently?
Or pretends to care.
Apparently I’m just a sucker…
After finally getting to ask the Artist some questions, he explained that basically everything he’d said before was a lie. The only thing that was true was that he was attracted to my brain.
Well that’s something. It’s nice to know that it was my brain that got his attention, but it’s more than a little frustrating that all the sweet things he said about finding me attractive, or how he thought this was potentially something serious, or how he wanted to go on a trip to the Renaissance Festival with me, all those things were BS.
I suppose I should have let it go and just walked away, but I have a problem: I always need answers. I hate unanswered questions. And I hate being lied to.
So I asked. I pushed a little to get the information I needed. I got accused of being emotional and “anchoring” my emotions in my logic, leading to desperation, neediness, and manipulation…
So it’s manipulative to ask why a guy would consistently say I’d see him the same day or the following day?
Seriously, every date we had, the Artist would tell me that he’d see me later that day, or tomorrow, or the upcoming weekend. Then when later or tomorrow or the weekend would come, he’d be busy, or just not answer my texts or phone calls. At first, he would flake out in order to work on his art project… and, if you remember, he never quite finished it.
So he’d cancel, and I’d try to reschedule. At first, since we initially connected over movies, I’d try to recommend movies for us to see. Luckily for me, there was a handful of free movies to choose from. I get advanced screening tickets from time to time…
But the Artist kept saying no, except for one, which I thought of as a date, and he apparently did not. We saw an advanced screening of Hector and the Search for Happiness. I had referred to it as a date. I bought a new clutch and jewelry so I’d look nice, since I wasn’t able to buy something new for our first date. I really thought it was a date…
He had them split the check when the check came.
I get it, it was a free movie. I didn’t pay for the tickets. He’d paid for dinner several times in the past, even when I didn’t ask him to. I get it. But I waited for 3 hours to make sure we got tickets to see the show. Generally, given that situation, dinner is on the other person.
Especially if it’s a date.
But by that time, he’d made up his mind, I gather, that this wasn’t going to work. Instead of telling me that, he took me out for drinks, and told some guy that was kind of interrupting us, i.e. keeping us from having a conversation so we could get to know each other, that I was his girl.
“My girl’s getting tired; let me walk her to her car,” he said.
Of course, then he later got mad at me because he was hungover at work the next day…
Like I forced him to stay at the bar and drink himself stupid. He did me a favor by going to the movies with me on a weeknight, apparently, and then it was my fault that he decided to stay late and talk more with a total stranger than he did with me.
And he wonders why I feel like we didn’t ever really have conversation…
Even then, he said I’d see him the following weekend. I don’t remember if I did or not. I think that was the weekend that he was going to help me look at apartments (since he knows the area better than me), and instead told me that I needed something from him he couldn’t give. Like asking him to do what he said he was going to do was asking too much.
His reasoning for always flaking on me? He just didn’t want to, or he didn’t want people to mistakenly believe he was my BF.
And here I was worried that I was actually asking too much of him, but he’s done nothing but lied since I met him. He can’t follow through on anything, and he’s got too many addictions for me to feel comfortable. I tried to look past them, but given that he’s lied about silly things? It’s not worth the stress.
So back to the dating pool I go. I’ll be updating my Pinterest board to reflect the things I learned from this dating pitfall.
Now, along with my mild obsession with Tom Hiddleston, and my pins of alpha males, especially the intellectual alpha males, I’ll be adding pins about honesty and caring: