So what is it that a woman wants? I can’t speak for all women, but I want an intellectual alpha male. I am aware that I, when I’m healthy and ok, am a fierce alpha female. But, I do not want to be an alpha female to a beta male. I’ve seen that, and while it works for some, it is a thing I never want to have to deal with.
My family is a prime example. Both my mother and grandmother married traditional alpha males: physically strong, not a lot of intellect. Both men were in the military. Both men worked hard, physically intense jobs when they got out of the military; jobs which made enough money to support their families. But in the end, both my mother and my grandmother went back to school, and in the end became the supporters because they were more highly educated than their spouses. They handled the finances and made the decisions because they were smarter, and thus better equipped to do those things.
In the case of my grandmother, it worked out fine; she is a natural alpha female. But for my mother… she is a type B personality who tried taking on an alpha role. The result has been very trying for her.
I am an alpha female who happens to also be a people pleaser. It’s what I do. I like to make people happy because when other people are happy, I am happy. It’s as simple as that. And I’m good at it. If I were to get involved with a beta male, he’d always be trying to please me, and that would just frustrate me. I need to feel useful. I need to be given a task to do, something to show that I care through helping others.
But I also need someone with a brain. If a man cannot keep my attention in conversation for at least an hour, he doesn’t even get a chance at 15 minutes for…well just about anything else. Now, by conversation, I don’t mean just small talk, although, that’s a good place to start. I mean real talk! I need a man who can teach me something I don’t know, or is willing to have a debate about the latest policy over (fill in the blank) .
So I’ve devised what I think is the perfect category for what I need: The Intellectual Alpha Male.
And I have the perfect example of what that means: Dr. Henry Walton “Indiana” Jones, Jr.
Indiana Jones is a very smart man. He’s a professor of archaeology, for goodness’ sake! So he definitely qualifies as someone who could teach me something. It is what he does the majority of the time, after all. I mean life can’t always be life threatening treasure hunts, right?
But let’s look at those treasure hunts: Why does he do them? Because he has passion for his job. That’s the next important aspect of an intellectual alpha male. Whether it’s teaching, or computer programming, or engineering, or the games that they play on the weekends, Intellectual alphas really have a passion for what it is that they do. And in a lot of instances, it is what they do that gives them verbal fodder for our conversations. You program computers? I know nothing about that, teach me! What type of engineer are you? And what does that title mean? You have a favorite character from World of Warcraft (or Warcrack, as I lovingly refer to it)? Tell me, why are they your favorite? What makes that character special?
Share your passion with me. Talk to me. Just say something! With enough passion and enough knowledge, an hour conversation is nothing, I assure you!
And if you run out of things to talk about, crack a joke. Almost every girl who’s in a successful relationship will tell you her significant other is funny. Even those of us with a lot on our plate need someone to make us forget our troubles every now and then, and a witty banter, or a well timed joke can take our worries away. For me, personally, I have brothers, so I appreciate a well executed dirty joke, or even the more potty humor… but only to a point.
An intellectual alpha is humorous, but sometimes he is also practical (and sometimes the two go together, like in the video below). I am a very emotional person, and I need a man who’s going to make me realize I’m being ridiculous, but in a way that is respectful and doesn’t cause a fight. Someone asked me once what I wanted in a guy and I responded, “I want a guy who can put me in my place when I’m wrong, and that I respect enough to let him do it.” The lady who asked me nearly fainted. Apparently it was too old-fashioned for her to believe those words had come out of my mouth, but it’s true.
While I am an alpha female, I am still just a silly girl, sometimes. I’m not great with money, I let my emotions get the better of me sometimes, and I like to be right… a lot. But when I’m wrong, when I’m making a particularly bad decision, I want a man who is willing to step in, and be an Alpha Male, and tell me I’m wrong. There’s an art to it, to be sure. A random guy telling me I’m wrong isn’t going to make me go weak in my knees, but if he can prove to me that I’m wrong, or if I already respect him enough to value his opinion, it’s a very sexy, overtly masculine trait that I look for.
Looks are a nice plus, I mean after all, if there isn’t at least some physical attraction, the rest only leads to a good friend, but looks aren’t the primary factor. A person is beautiful based more on what’s inside of them than on what their bodies look like.
So I think that’s it: intelligent, humorous, practical, passionate, and respectfully forceful, that’s what I’m looking for. And looks don’t hurt.