I am a fan of kissing.

It’s true. Kissing is a particularly important part of the dating experience. A bad kiss can kill the mood faster than an image of Margaret Thatcher playing baseball in her undies. Meanwhile, a good kiss can lead to blast off in less than 2.5 seconds.

i'm a fan of kissingThere’s just something particularly sensual about the feel of someone else’s lips on my flesh. The brush of lips against my fingertips, or a light nibble on the collarbone can send shivers down my spine. A kiss on the top of the head signifies a deep caring that’s beyond sex and can fill me with a warmth and a sense of belonging. Kissing of the eyelids can mean “I see you,” or can be a way to wipe away someone’s sadness. Kisses can be used to tease, with a light flick of the tongue on someone else’s lip, or by kissing only one lip. Or there are the kisses that leave a trail of love lingering, tingling and lusty across someone’s body…

Kissing is important.

i'm a fan of kissingNow a good kiss doesn’t have to have tongue, but it’s a nice plus. A good kiss doesn’t even have to be on the lips (don’t go getting all naughty on me just yet…) if it’s done well. The Kama Sutra has over 30 types of kisses, including some biting… It is an art form that is undervalued in today’s dating scene, or at least the dating scene in Lizland.

The new boy, the one who’s been sniffing around of late, isn’t quite the artist that he should be in this realm. He is particularly complimentary, which gets him lots of points (every girl likes to hear she’s beautiful and desired), but his skill ends there. We finally met, amongst a group of semi-like-minded people, and we waited around to talk to one another.

Basically, I was giving him my “conversation” test.

I’m not sure we’ve ever discussed my “qualifications” for dating, but for these purposes we should discuss the conversation test: If a man can’t keep my attention for an hour’s worth of conversation, then he basically doesn’t get to try for anything else. I’m a Gemini. We are intellectual creatures. And the brain is the largest erogenous zone…

Either way, this guy was able to keep my attention in conversation, but only through his compliments. He wasn’t particularly adept at engaging my intellect. In fact, all post test contact has been… rather vacuous.

But, on our first face to face encounter, he was able to keep my attention for the requisite hour. He even very gentlemanly walked me to my car.

And then very ungentlemanly shoved his tongue down my throat. It was a hungry, forceful, somewhat selfish kiss. One in which his tongue filled my mouth, but there was none of the sweet caressing, or tender pecking of the lips that suggested actual desire in a partnership. It was a thrusting, very pointed, and very single-purposed kiss.

i'm a fan of kissing

To be fair, it may have been a very drunken kiss. He did mention that he’d had a bit to drink… And by a bit, I mean he’d had a lot to drink.

Either way, between the lack of kissing chemistry, and the lack of intellectual stimulation, he’s managed to undermine all the points he gained with the compliments. Not to mention that he’s attempted to reschedule a not firm dinner date at least twice, and finally decided to try to invite me to his house for a first date.

Now, no matter what his intentions, it gives a wrong message. He’s not willing to get to know me first. I could be a serial killer for all he knows! Or he could be one, for all I know. Thus, I did not accept his invitation, and told him we weren’t past the meeting in public stage.

After some ranting about southern hospitality and his cooking skills, he too, brushed me off and I have not heard from him since.

Well, I don’t want to waste my time on someone who kisses as lousy as all that, anyhow!

*Sigh*

I guess it’s back to the drawing board.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, here’s a video with lots of kissing! Also, the song is one of my new favorites. Wish the old boy had heard it before he decided that we should just be friends…but whatever. Too late now. It doesn’t have quite the same meaning in our current stage of this relationship that’s not a relationship… or whatever it is…

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