Today is a special day. It’s St. Patrick’s Day. It’s the first day of Spring Break. It’s a day for new beginnings in Lizopolis (I’m trying out new names for Lizland, what do ya think?).
I woke up this morning knowing I wanted to write a post today. I wasn’t sure what it would be about, but since yesterday’s post was so very negative, I wanted something a bit… uplifting. The world can’t be filled with negativity all the time or the SADness wins… And that has to stop.
I will admit, I’ve been losing that battle. I lost an entire week last week due to illness and stress and, if I’m totally honest with myself, to the SADness. I let myself be bound by fear and if that happens again, I may very well lose my job.
Of course, given the conditions of my job situation, losing that might not exactly be a bad thing.
But the long term repercussions of such a thing would be catastrophic!
So, I need a plan. The plan for today was to get up at a normal time, get my metabolism boosting 10 minute “Torcher” exercise in, enjoy a hearty breakfast, and then start to make the changes in my life that need to happen in order to help me survive the rest of the school year. Or get out. You know, whichever would best serve me in the long run.
In my mind’s eye, the little logicians in my brain would break out the big computers and feed data into them to run the necessary computations to determine which is the best course of action… but thus far, those computers have just been spinning their wheels.
I keep going round and round in circles about what I should do. About my job. About my relationship situation (new boy, new situation, new developments with the old boy…long story). About my apartment (I have got to get my furniture soon). About my health…
A lot of variables for my little mental data analysts to work with. I think they have gone on strike. Or more accurately, they were on strike all last week, keeping me in a state of constant disarray. I feel a little more focused now.
A good night’s sleep helped.
So, I’m starting out behind, but I was inspired a bit. I get certain blog posts sent to my email, and this one from Fitsouffle inspired me today. Past the adorable picture of her dog, it talks about the stages of making change. I’ve been stuck in a seesaw between Contemplation and Preparation. I know there is a problem and I’ve been contemplating what changes would be best, but I’ve also been preparing the steps to make changes.
The problem has been that all those variables we were just talking about means that sometimes the steps to change I take are wrong and I stop and go back to contemplating a better course of action. The data analysts click on their computers again. The data goes in, and new solutions come out. Then the next day a new situation arises, and the cycle begins again.
The energy my brain was using kept putting me back in bed, and left me feeling nothing but despair.
Today is a special day! It is the first day of Spring Break, which means I have an entire week to make the necessary changes, to create a plan and implement it, before I have to go back to work, or quit. Today, will be the last day for preparation. Tomorrow, with a new plan prepared and ready to go, I will leap into Action!
First things first, I need to get some Bangers and Mash and a green beer. It is St. Patrick’s Day after all, and even though I don’t celebrate his removal of the pagans from Ireland (that’s what they mean by snakes), I have been craving Bangers and Mash for a few days, and there’s a place for it not too far away.
Hey, let me have a little fun. Can’t be serious all the time, now can we?