Starting some s***

I am a Gemini.

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This makes me a starter of things. A starter. Not a finisher. My life is full of projects started, and not quite finished.

Hobbies come into my life and I dream of becoming the next great painter, poet, chef, crochet-er (?), etc. The sky is the limit! I can do this, and this time I will do it. A few months later, I am left with unfinished artworks, books on how to, a kitchen full of exotic foods and spices (inevitably thrown out once expired), and yarn balls.

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Occasionally, things will stick. I have an amazing recipe for Turkey Chili Verde using ground turkey and tomatillos and great Northern beans that takes me over an hour to prepare, and leaves my kitchen a bit more cluttered than usual, but it’s totally worth it. Especially on a particularly cold day. It’s got a bit of heat, but not as much as my regular chili, and it’s fresher, tastes lighter, but still filling.

So my dreams of becoming a world renowned chef still linger just at the back of my mind. I’d need a sous chef, as well as a whole team of minions to keep my kitchen cleaned and stocked to make it work, so… not likely going to happen.

But the dream is still there, hiding, waiting for just the right time to come out and play.

So believe me when I tell you I am something of an expert on beginnings. Beginnings are easy! Unless it is the beginning of something worth finishing. This is something I have learned through my thirty*cough* years of existence on this planet: Anything worth the effort, is REALLY worth the effort. Meaning that starting something extremely beneficial may be the hardest thing you will ever do.

Given that, I believe 2014 will be the BEST year ever! Well, for me. It began amidst some turmoil and chaos. My car broke down (and is still sitting, patiently, in it’s parking spot), my paycheck didn’t come in on time (but it’s there now, so if you’re a bill collector reading this, try the agreed upon payment again. There are funds now!), and it started with a bit of an argument.

Actually that last isn’t entirely true. The argument began several days before, in the form of a surprise and a lie (one of omission, but a lie of omission is still a lie). A friend, a good friend (actually more than a friend), surprised me by coming home early. Wonderful! This surprise, however, was achieved by a small (now that we’ve worked it out) white lie of omission.

And me, being the emotionally second guessing Gemini that I am blew it way out of proportion.

Not by myself I didn’t. At least 4 other people having heard the circumstances of my anger agreed that I was in the right. The situation was awful. I was being lied to and played and treated with disrespect.

Deep down, I knew that wasn’t the case.

The person at the other end of the fight is too logical, too kind, too caring, too against pretense to be doing all the horrible things other people were suggesting. But, that didn’t stop me from losing my temper, and getting my feelings hurt, and crying quietly in the bathtub while drinking Chardonnay before noon on a Sunday while trying to figure out how to fix it.

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And it didn’t stop him from not hearing why I was upset. He only heard that I was upset at something that was logically not a thing to be upset about.

Do you know what happens when you put a logical person in a room with an emotional person, even if both parties understand the nature of the other? Explosions. Minor apocalypses. Absolute, total destruction of potentially amazing things…

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Thank the gods that one of my Gemini twins IS logical. Otherwise, something really amazing would have been destroyed, I think.

So the argument ended, before the end of 2013, leaving me with one really amazing area of peace in my world with which to start 2014. Amidst the chaotic mess that is my apartment, and the problems with my car, and financial crises (that will be worked out before the end of January), and the mild hangover from a fabulous New Year’s Eve party, I have this really great friend who is willing to put up with my craziness, and whose craziness I am willing to put up with, to work on having a really solid relationship of some sort.

Nevermind that sometimes I don’t finish things. Some things aren’t meant to be finished. Like relationships. You never finish those. You just keep working on those to make them more.

So 2014, you will be full of challenges for me, but I will meet them head-on, and I believe you will bring me some of my greatest stories/memories to date. I accept your challenge of starting difficult projects to make my life more fulfilled.

Let’s get started!

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