My Pursuit of Happiness

I think it’s safe to say it’s been a while since I’ve been on here, and I’m not ashamed to admit that it’s only out of jealousy and somewhat hurt pride that I’ve returned to the world wide web to bare my soul. It seems that everyone* I know has been or has begun writing more than I set out to do when I started this blog nearly two years ago (It will be two years in March, can you believe it!).

  • Several of my friends from high school have been working intensely on writing projects. One has her own blog, and is the lady who introduced me to the world of blogging, and another has been working on her novel. She used to blog, but she left her blog about the same time I did… A third, a gentleman, is working on his pirate fiction, as in fiction about pirates, not stolen writing, and has a blog about movies!
  • A girl in my book club has started a hilarious, and informative, blog about dating. I have a feeling it will go far, if it hasn’t already.
  • And last but not least, a man I know, who’s currently stuck on a boat, has even been writing more than me! Granted, he’s working on the boat, so not actually stuck, and his writing is amazing! I look forward to reading more of his work, and getting to know more about that guy. (Side note, it’s mostly my jealousy of HIS talent that has me back at the keyboard trying my hand at this whole writing thing again, but shhh! Don’t tell him I said so…)

I must say, though, I think I have a fairly valid reason for being MIA: I was enjoying life, or at least trying to. Since my last post, I have left Mayberry only to move to the big bad city of Houston, and I feel both right at home and terribly out of place here. I spent my first 6 months here trying to establish my job and network with other teachers. Mostly that blew up in my face, but more on that later… maybe. 

Then about a year ago I joined a book club, and it has brought me new, true, friends, one of which is the owner of the above mentioned blog about dating. Those ladies have helped me through several rough patches, and I now understand why girls need girlfriends.

They’ve helped me navigate the rough waters of Houston’s social scene, and helped me get over a bad boy who was really just a boy. Not literally, of course; I’ve not joined the criminal world of the pedophiles yet, nor do I have any intention of doing so (I’m a teacher of high school students, so let me clarify, I do NOT find people younger than 25 the least bit attractive!).

This boy was over 30, but mentally he was…well, not over 30. He was gorgeous but dumb, and having made it into my 30’s without ever having experienced that particular brand of boy, I gave it a shot. I had waited a very long time to let love into my life, and I should have been a bit more choosy, but he had waved at me while I walked my dog for nearly a year and smiled at me in a way that said “you are my world!” So, when on my birthday he spoke sweet words and told me I was beautiful enough to be a model, I melted. Caved is more like it. Fell face first into the abyss of a wild, hot, fiery puppy love; a love that fizzled and died before the flames could reach my brain, and thus I let it simmer.

I tried to salvage it even when he told me he had a private recording of Beethoven (or was it Mozart?), as in the actual guy at the piano… Or when he told me that the famous person (dead or alive) that he most wanted to meet was  George Washington because he was such a great general in the Civil War (the British would say he was right, maybe). I even tried to hold onto some hope when he gave me the “It’s not you, it’s me,” speech. By then, though it was mostly a romance only in my head, which was still simmering over the flames of the what-could-have-been.

The whole thing lasted maybe a month.

On the plus side, he helped me get back on the proverbial horse so that I could in good faith enter the dating world. After my 4 year stint in Mayberry, without so much as a truly viable nibble, I was beginning to think I was completely unattractive and not welcome in the world of romance. So thank you, Vince, for helping me to see that I am worth it. And thank you, sassy ladies of the book club, for helping me to see that he was NOT worth it!

Having survived the frustrations of trying, albeit briefly, to date a dumb male, I decided to join a Geeky group in order to meet intelligent people, male or otherwise, for friendship or otherwise, and I have not been disappointed. Between the weekly Pub Trivia and the tons of geeky, but fun outings we do, I have made some really great friends in that group as well. Also, met a boy or two, but I’m not going to divulge all the secrets of my love life to the entire world!

Now into the second year of teaching, at what has been dubbed the Worst School in the District, I am finally beginning to see some stabilization in my life. While this semester has been a complete and total failed experiment, I now know what direction I need to go, both in the classroom and for my future in education. I see that I can be a good teacher (I also see that it takes quite a bit more effort than what I had to put into it while in the Ghetto of Mayberry), but I also see that I can do more good as a counselor.

So, while I intend to put the extra effort into being a good teacher for the remainder of my time at my current school (which could be a while), I also intend to begin studying to be a counselor. There’s an 18 month program through a somewhat local university that is entirely online (except the internship portion) that I am confident that I can complete.

It’s going to be tough, but I can do it. For the first time in my life, I am aware that I DO have the support necessary to accomplish my goals. I have my old (as in known for a long time, not actually aged in years) friends, and a new batch of incredible friends and loved ones that want to see me be successful.

It helps that I’ve purged the toxic people out of my life. I have less contact with the toxic elements of my family. I’ve separated myself from most of my coworkers, not all of which were toxic, but the ones who were toxic were really toxic! And I’ve stopped trying to contact people who don’t really want to be contacted. Sometimes in life, we meet people who seem to be perfect for our needs and we’re perfect for theirs (and I don’t mean romantically, although the same rules apply), but when things actually get difficult, you learn they aren’t there for anyone but themselves. Those people will hurt you every time. The easiest way to identify them is if you are the one always making the effort to contact them. When faced with that, run, screaming, in the other direction.

*I did not ask permission to link to the pages of my friends. I have not received any kind of payment to promote them, nor would I. These are people whose company I enjoy, and who happen to be writing. Since everything I’ve linked to is in a public arena (aka the internet!) I assume I’m breaking no laws… So, check them out!

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